Losing Broadband Customers? Literally Who Cares?
Okay so like I saw this article about Comcast and I was like 'Wait isn't that what everyone uses to watch *Keeping Up*?' Apparently they're losing broadband customers. Like bye Felicia! I'm sure they'll be fine. But honestly who even uses regular internet anymore when you have unlimited data on your phone? Is that still a thing? I don’t know. I am unbothered.
Mobile is the New Black (Card)
But get this their mobile business is like totally thriving. It's up 16%! That's more than my last lip kit launch! Okay maybe not but still it's a lot. Clearly everyone wants to be able to like post selfies and shop for Kylie Cosmetics on the go. Duh! It's all about the convenience people.
Peacock is Slayin' the Streaming Game! Yas!
And OMG Peacock is doing amazing! Their paid subscribers are way up and they're losing less money. Like who knew people actually wanted to watch something other than TikTok? I'm just kidding! Sort of... But seriously good for them. I love seeing businesses level up!
Theme Parks? More Like Theme *Parks*...Because There's So Many!
Okay so the theme parks had a bit of a like 'sad beige' moment because of the wildfires in Los Angeles. So sad but they are coming back with brand new theme parks! Are you kidding? Epic Universe? Universal Horror Unleashed? Sounds like my kind of party! They will make a comeback and people will come back!
Focusing on What Matters: Mobile & Streaming
So basically Comcast is all about mobile and streaming now. And by streaming they also mean Peacock the one I use to watch Real Housewives of Everything. Makes perfect sense! I mean who even watches cable anymore? Except maybe my grandma. But she's like the exception that proves the rule. Shifting focus? Sounds like a great idea. Let's get it.
Overall Things are Still Pretty Good. I guess...
So yeah Comcast had a bit of a mixed quarter. But honestly who doesn't? Even I have bad lash days. The important thing is they're still making bank and they're focusing on what's hot right now: mobile streaming and apparently theme parks. So yeah they're gonna be fine. And so am I! Now if you'll excuse me I have a new lip kit to launch. K bye!
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tokugawa
Slayyy Kylie slayyy
dadeaxra
OMG Kylie, you get me!
Giannakis
Kylie, can I have a free lip kit?!
GrandmaJean
Universal theme parks are the place to be!
brittany91
Losing broadband sucks!
CLeigh13
Peacock is the BEST!
dannyboysky
I'm obsessed with your business advice, Kylie!
a98231
Xfinity Mobile is actually really good!
easywin
Yassssssssss
mindela
Kylie for CEO of Comcast!