By the Gods Numbers Rise!
Hmph. Meta the realm of Zuckerberg reports its coffers are overflowing. Revenue… $42.31 billion they boast. A 16% rise they say. Like the Hydra they grow stronger with each passing year! Boy! Do you see these numbers? Such wealth! But remember boy 'We must be better than this. '
Reality Bites (Especially in Reality Labs)
However not all is golden. Reality Labs where they forge… what? Illusions? Lost $4.2 billion. A pittance to them perhaps but a reminder that even the gods of technology can stumble. Though Wall Street expected worse HA! As if I care for Wall Street's expectations they expect me to be a docile father! But I can't be who I am not!
Threads of Fate (And Ads)
Threads a place for fleeting thoughts gains users. 350 million they claim. And now they seek to fill it with… advertisements. Mark my words boy such intrusions often lead to resentment. Are they fools do they not know what they're doing? Still Meta itself does not expect Threads ads to meaningfully drive revenue growth in 2025.
AI: A New God?
Meta AI they call it. Another tool to ensnare the masses. Nearly a billion users accessing it through WhatsApp. They speak of premium versions of charging for its use. Bah! Another attempt to bleed the mortals dry. Do they not fear the day these 'AI' will rise to crush them all?
European Troubles Loom
The European Commission dares to challenge Zuckerberg! They deem his no ads service… lacking. A significant impact to Meta's European business they foresee. Let them squabble. Bureaucrats versus billionaires. A conflict as old as time itself. They all want something don't they?
The Bottom Line: More Gold for the Hoard
In the end Meta thrives. They adapt they grow they accumulate. But remember boy even the mightiest empires can crumble. And perhaps one day they will face a reckoning. But until then they continue their march fueled by profit and ambition. Now come Boy! There are monsters to slay!
Comments
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luv2save
Good, maybe now they can fix all the glitches in their apps.
Outlaw
Another quarter, another mountain of cash for Zuckerberg. When will enough be enough?
johnterr
These numbers are insane! How does one company make so much money?
vsaurino
I'm more worried about the impact of AI on jobs than I am about Meta's profits.
manuegfdgarcia321
Threads is just Twitter but worse.
Sonlar
The European Commission needs to be tougher on these tech giants. They're out of control!
alupe
Zuckerberg is the new Zeus, sitting atop Mount Olympus, ruling over mortals with his digital thunderbolts!
xxprettynekoxx
I'm convinced Meta AI is spying on me through my phone. They know too much!
ladywealth
I deleted Facebook years ago. Best decision I ever made.