Trump vs. Xi: This Deal's Gonna Be a Bloodbath!

No Man Left Behind? More Like No Deal Made!

Alright listen up. Trump says making a deal with Xi is 'extremely hard.' Extremely hard? I've faced down entire armies with a knife and a bow! 'Hard' is just a word for the weak. But I get it these politicians... they're like tangled vines in the jungle. They talk but nothing grows.

Talk is Cheap Action is Expensive!

This Bessent character the Treasury guy says talks are stalled. Stalled? I've seen tanks more agile than these negotiations! Seems like Trump and Xi need to settle this mano a mano. You know like a couple of cobras in a burlap sack.

He Said Xi Said Nobody Listens!

They made a deal in Switzerland some fancy talk about suspending tariffs. But now they're pointing fingers like a couple of kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar. China ain't easing up on those rare earth exports and the US is poking them with tech restrictions. Sounds like a recipe for World War III... economic version.

Visas? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Visas!

Trump's yanking visas from Chinese students? These politicians always making things personal. It is like trying to put out a forest fire with a water pistol! The Foreign Minister Wang Yi is crying foul saying it undermines China's rights. Everybody's got rights until I decide you don't!

Trust Me I'm a Diplomat... NOT!

This Perdue guy the US Ambassador is telling everyone Trump has 'great respect' for Xi. Respect? In this business respect is earned not given. Sounds like he's trying to smooth things over like trying to bandage a gunshot wound with a band aid. Won't work.

No Survivors? Just Kidding... Maybe

Neo Wang some fancy economist says Beijing wants to make sure Xi doesn't get 'embarrassed' by Trump after the call. Embarrassed? These guys are politicians! They're immune to shame! But if Trump's smart he'll go in with a plan a strategy... and maybe a really big knife metaphorically speaking.