Trump Says Steel Merger is a Go! More Boom, Less Doom (Maybe?)

Kaboom! Trump Just Dropped a Steel Bomb!

Alright you bunch of Powder Monkeys! Jinx here reporting LIVE from… well not Pittsburgh yet but soon maybe with Fishbones! Word on the street (and by street I mean that weird Truth Social thingy) is that Donald 'Big Hands' Trump gave the thumbs up to that U.S. Steel and Nippon Steel merger thingy. Remember when Sleepy Joe blocked it? Apparently Trump thinks Biden's got a screw loose. It’s gonna create like a bajillion jobs (or 70,000 which is basically the same right?) and inject a whopping $14 billion into the US economy! Whoa! I could buy a LOT of rockets with that kind of dough!

Pittsburgh Stays Put (For Now!)

So the story goes that U.S. Steel's HQ will be chillin' in Pittsburgh which is a good thing because I was gonna visit to paint a mural. Heard there's some good walls there that need some serious sprucing up. According to Trump all this 'investment' (whatever that is) will happen over the next 14 months. Sounds like a lot of waiting but hey plenty of time to plan some… celebrations!

Steel Shares Go BOOM!

Talk about a fireworks display! After Trump's announcement U.S. Steel shares went absolutely bonkers skyrocketing over 20%! Someone's gonna be swimming in cash. Me? I'm more of a swimming in… well gunpowder kind of gal. Point is someone's happy and that usually means someone's gonna be unhappy soon after which is my kind of party!

Biden Blocked It? What a Party Pooper!

Remember when ol' Joe Biden blocked Nippon Steel from buying U.S. Steel for almost $15 billion? Something about 'national security concerns'. I dunno sounds like he was just jealous of the potential explosions! But now Trump is on the case saying that Biden should stop being a buzzkill and get the party started. Maybe if they built a giant robot made of steel I could pilot it! Think of the mayhem!

Trump's Master Plan? More Like Controlled Chaos!

So Trump did his own review of the deal and ordered the Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States to get their act together. All I know is that 'further action' better involve some serious fireworks. He said he's gonna hold a rally at U.S. Steel in Pittsburgh on May 30. Sounds like a date... a date for some epic mischief!

Is This Progress? Or Just More Things to Blow Up?

Look I don't know about all this 'economics' and 'mergers' and stuff. All I know is that steel is strong explosions are fun and chaos makes for a good time. Whether this steel deal is a good thing or a bad thing you can bet your sweet bippy I'll be there to add a little… *spark* to the situation. Remember rules are made to be broken! And buildings? Well they're just waiting to be decorated… with a few well placed rockets of course! Jinx out!