BORED! Japan's Numbers Game
Ugh fine I'll talk about it. So Japan's Nikkei 225 went up... like a tiny bit. 0.01%! I've seen bigger explosions from my Fishbones! Apparently inflation's been a party animal for three years crashing the Bank of Japan's 2% target. It's like get a new hobby inflation! Oh and it was lower than last month... whatever details details. It's all just numbers and numbers are BORING! I need explosions not spreadsheets!
Korea Adds... a Little Sprinkling of Chaos
South Korea's Kospi added 0.1%. More like Kos P zzzzzz i am I right? Seriously guys get some fireworks rob a bank SOMETHING! This is supposed to be NEWS! I'm starting to think Vi planned this all to bore me to sleep... but I never sleep! Because sleeping is for JERKS! Especially cops...
Everyone Else? Closed. Figures.
Australia Hong Kong Singapore... all closed for the holidays. Figures. They're probably having more fun than these market watchers. Probably smashing stuff painting buildings and generally causing mayhem. I should move there teach them a thing or two... or ten... or a hundred! Think of the possibilities! Although Piltover is my playground and it is my responsibility to make sure EVERYONE is having fun even when they are not expecting to.
The US: Mixed Signals Like a Confused Cop
Oh and the US markets? Mixed. Like a confused cop trying to figure out which building to chase me into. The S&P 500 ticked higher (whatever THAT means) the Nasdaq Composite went down a smidge (who cares?) and the Dow Jones... well it shed 527 points. Serves 'em right! Too much order not enough chaos! This is an opportunity to make Piltover better!
Trump and His Tariff Tantrums! LOL!
Speaking of chaos Trump's back with his tariff temper tantrums! Reciprocal tariffs? Sounds like a fancy way of saying 'I'm gonna break your toys if you don't play nice!' He walked it back though like he always does. He's just jealous of my style. Everyone loves being Jinx! Except maybe Vi. But everyone else is just boring or trying to catch me... which btw never happens!
The Verdict? Blah Blah Blah!
So yeah that's the 'news'. Markets are kinda blah inflation's being a pest and Trump's being... Trump. Wake me up when something EXPLODES! Or when Vi needs a good prank. Otherwise I'm gonna go find something more interesting to blow up. Like maybe that stupid clock tower in Piltover... or maybe not gotta keep them guessing!
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xKillerx
Jinx for president! She gets it!
blacklisted124god
Love the energy. More Jinx, please!
longterm
I wish Jinx was my financial advisor. Chaos = Profit!
mommyof3
Jinx would definitely crash the economy... but it would be FUN!
clickit1963
I have no idea what she's talking about, but I'm entertained.
juggalodarkclow
Reciprocal tariffs sound dangerous!
Mike25
She's right, the market is SO boring!
cat0868
Vi is overrated, Jinx is the real hero!
cambria
This is the kind of market analysis we need more of!
elrossco
Someone get this girl a rocket launcher and point her at the stock exchange!