AI Avatars Stealing My Spotlight? Time to Blow Up the Internet (Again)!

Robo Salesmen?! Seriously?

Ugh so I saw this thing floating around about how some tech nerds in China made these… AI *avatars* that are apparently better at selling stuff than ACTUAL people. Yeah you heard right. Better than me. I almost choked on my Fishbones rocket! It’s all about this livestreaming nonsense. Apparently this dude Luo Yonghao who I’ve never heard of (and who cares really?) used a digital version of himself and some other chump Xiao Mu to rake in like a bajillion yuan. Or something. Numbers are boring. Explosions are BETTER!

DeepSeek? More Like Deep Sleep!

Apparently this 'DeepSeek' thingy—China's answer to whatever OpenAI is—helped make these digital doppelgangers. They used FIVE YEARS of videos to copy their jokes and style. Five years? I could cause five years' worth of chaos in like a Tuesday afternoon! All this just so they don't need to hire a production team. Production team? Who needs a team when you've got a minigun and a dream? Seriously who wants boring humans when you can have explosive action?!

Livestreaming: The New Playground (for Mayhem!)

So livestreaming is all the rage because of some pandemic thing. Boooring! But whatever. Turns out people are watching and buying stuff. Apparently one of those apps Douyin is now BIGGER than some e commerce company. Newsflash: it probably sells more glitter cannons than they do! More people are turning to livestreaming to earn money from commissions and virtual gifts amid slower economic growth which is more opportunity for CHAOS!

Virtual Anchors? I'd Rather Anchor a Rocket!

Oh and get this: companies are making digital people to be NEWS ANCHORS. Can you imagine? A robot reading the news? Where's the spontaneity? The explosions? The uncontrollable laughter? This is an outrage! I could host the news. It would be the most exciting most unpredictable and definitely the loudest news broadcast EVER! I will bring the bang to your screen!

Impulse Buys and High Return Rates? Sounds Like Fun!

Apparently all this livestreaming leads to a lot of 'impulse buys' and high return rates. Sounds like the perfect opportunity for some… 'creative re distribution' of goods. Wink wink nudge nudge! The real problem according to these boring analysts is 'compliance and platform requirements'. Rules? Regulations? Those are just suggestions right? I mean come on where's the fun in following the rules? Rules are meant to be BROKEN!

Multi Language Mayhem: Coming to a Screen Near You!

The worst part? These digital nightmares could start livestreaming in MULTIPLE LANGUAGES. My head hurts. But hey more languages means more opportunities to confuse people! Anyway this just means I need to step up my game. Bigger explosions louder laughs and maybe… just maybe… a little AI sabotage. After all can't let those robots steal ALL the fun right? Time to make some noise and show them what REAL chaos looks like! Hehehe…