Wake Me When Meta Makes a Real AI: Chief on Zuckerberg's Superintelligence Gamble

Meta's Stock Surges: Did Someone Say 'Worth Fighting For'?

Alright Marines listen up. Meta or as I like to call them 'the company that knows more about your cat videos than you do,' just hit a new stock record. Seems like investors are hyped about their new 'Superintelligence' group. $747.90 a share? Reminds me of the time I negotiated for a fully loaded Warthog. Except that time I actually got something useful. They call it Meta’s new AI superintelligence group I am thinking if Meta’s AI can take on a Covenant Cruiser…then we might be in good shape.

Firing Line: Meta's Workforce Shakeup – Low Performers Face the Firing Squad

Apparently to reach these new heights Meta had to 'lighten the load,' if you catch my drift. They shed 5% of their workforce they deemed 'low performers.' Harsh. But hey even Spartans get reassigned sometimes. Remember that time Johnson made me clean the latrines after the Battle of Installation 04? Still reminds me of Cortana's quote when things get rough 'Sometimes I think you like being told what to do.' Maybe these guys just needed a better AI to tell them what to do! Speaking of which...

Hiring Frenzy: 'I Need a Weapon' – and Some AI Brains!

Zuckerberg's on an AI hiring spree battling the likes of OpenAI and Google's Alphabet. He's throwing money around like confetti at a Grunt birthday party. Scale AI's Alexandr Wang? Hired. Nat Friedman and his Safe Superintelligence startup? Attempted acquisition. He even tried to snatch Ilya Sutskever but got rejected. Seems even geniuses have standards. Meta has been snatching AI researchers from OpenAI. Sam Altman OpenAI's CEO said during a podcast that Meta was offering signing bonuses as high as $100 million. Sounds like an all out arms race...or more accurately a brain race. 'Dear humanity we regret being alien bastards we regret coming to Earth and we most definitely regret that the corps just blew up our raggedy ass fleet!'

Superintelligence: Is This HALO's Cortana in the Making?

So what is this 'superintelligence' anyway? Apparently it's technology that surpasses human capability. Sounds like Cortana except probably less sassy and definitely fewer existential crises. These new hires Wang and Friedman are leading Meta's Superintelligence Labs. Their mission? Oversee Meta's AI foundation models projects and research. Let's hope they can build something that can actually tell the difference between a meme and a war crime.

Money Talks: Meta's Billions Could Buy a Planet – or Just a Better Algorithm

Meta's throwing billions into this AI venture. $14.3 billion into Scale AI? $32 billion valuation for Safe Superintelligence? That's enough to buy a small moon...or maybe just a decent anti virus program for Facebook. Let's just hope all this investment doesn't end up creating another Skynet. Or worse an AI that only recommends cat videos.

Bosworth's Boast: 'Wake Me When You Need Me' – After This Hiring Spree

Andrew Bosworth Meta's tech chief says the AI talent market is 'incredible and kind of unprecedented.' I guess even the tech world has its 'never tell me the odds' moments. But remember what I always say: 'I need a weapon.' And right now Meta seems to be stockpiling them in the form of AI experts. Let's hope they use them wisely.