Jane Street Versus India's SEBI: Arbitrage? Or Arbitrage-NOT!

Wake Me When You Need Me (To Understand the Market)

Alright Marines listen up. Jane Street some Earth based outfit slingin' numbers around has gotten into a bit of a scrape with India's SEBI. Apparently SEBI thinks Jane Street was messin' with the market doin' some fancy footwork that smelled a little too Covenanty. Jane Street is saying it was just “basic index arbitrage trading.” Sounds like a game of Grifball to me only with more zeroes and less plasma.

Beyond Disappointed? I Know That Feeling...

Jane Street is “beyond disappointed,” they say. Yeah I know that feeling. Like when Cortana goes rampant or when you run out of ammo for your trusty MA5D assault rifle. They're callin' SEBI's accusations “extremely inflammatory.” Sounds like someone needs a plasma grenade lobbed their way metaphorically speaking of course. They're workin' on a formal response which hopefully involves more than just yellin' “Negative I don't like it!”

567 Million Credits? That's Enough for a New Warthog!

SEBI barred Jane Street from buyin' and sellin' in the Indian market and seized $567 million of its funds. That's enough credits to buy a fleet of Warthogs a fully upgraded Pelican and maybe even a small moon. SEBI claims Jane Street was artificially proppin' up the Bank Nifty index. Sounds like someone's been watchin' too much Halo Wars. If you ask me they should have just called in an ODST squad to sort it out.

Two Years of Surveillance? They Need a Ghost!

SEBI tracked Jane Street’s trading patterns for over two years. Two years! That’s longer than it took me to liberate Halo. They should have invested in a cloaking device or a really fast Ghost. They've also widened their investigation which means more paperwork for everyone involved. Just what we need.

Retail Investors: The New Unggoy Rush?

Apparently India’s derivatives market has exploded thanks to retail investors. Sounds like an Unggoy rush – lots of 'em not always the smartest and prone to gettin' wiped out quickly. SEBI is worried about the losses these investors are sufferin'. Fair enough. Someone’s gotta protect the grunts... I mean the investors.

Arbitrage: The Silent Cartographer of Finance?

Jane Street claims arbitrage trades are “a core and commonplace mechanism.” They say SEBI is disregardin' the role of liquidity providers. Look I deal with Covenant and Flood not finance. But if arbitrage keeps prices in line maybe it's like the Silent Cartographer mappin' out the unknown territory of the market. Or maybe it's just space magic. I'm not sure anymore.