Yabba Dabba Doo! TikTok's Trying to Calm Down Our Little Cavekids!

TikTok's Got the Bedrock Blues!

Yabba dabba doo! It seems like that darn TikTok is in a bit of a pickle. They're gettin' sued left and right sayin' it's messin' with the kiddos' heads. Honestly I don't know what all the fuss is about. Back in my day we just had to worry about dinosaurs stealin' our bronto burgers and havin' our funny bones tickled by the neighbours! Now they're saying this TikTok thing is givin' everyone the 'ol anxiety!

Meditation to the Rescue!?

So what's TikTok gonna do? Why they're givin' everyone meditation! That's right they're tryin' to make everyone go all 'ommm' and stuff. They're sayin' if the young'uns are still glued to those little screens after 10 p.m. they'll get a nice reminder to take a chill pill... or a big ol' bronto rib whichever works!

Bedrock Babes and TikTok Teens

They’re even turnin’ this meditation thing on automatically for all the youngsters. Sounds like Wilma trying to get Pebbles to take a nap. Good luck with that TikTok! You know how those young’uns can be! They're sayin' it's all about improving sleep but I bet they’ll still be up watchin' those funny animal videos with people dressed up. It's a modern stone age family problem I tell ya!

Lawsuits Lawsuits Everywhere!

All these fancy lawyers are throwin' rocks at TikTok sayin' it's like givin' the kids too much sugar. Makes 'em all hyper and unable to sleep! They’re even sayin' it causes depression and all sorts of tomfoolery. Honestly I don't know... Maybe these TikTok folks should just give everyone a good old fashioned bowling night! That always cheers me up!

Foreign Meddling!?

And get this! They're even worried about where this TikTok thing comes from! Some big shots are sayin' it's a Chinese gizmo and they don't want 'em peekin' at our bronto burgers! Back in my day the only thing we worried about from China was those fireworks! Now they are trying to ban it unless someone sells the app to an American company. It's enough to make a caveman scratch his head!

Paying to calm things down

TikTok is handing out some big ol' rocks $2.3 million worth to all sorts of mental health groups. They are trying to say that it’s a donation. Sounds like when I had to give Mr. Slate a birthday gift after accidentally breaking his favorite rock polisher... Yabba dabba doo! I guess they're tryin' to make everyone forget about all the fuss. We'll see if it works. In the meantime I'm gonna go watch some stone age TV. Yabba Dabba Doo!