Holy Guacamole! McDonald's is Hiring an Army This Summer!

Donkey's Dig: What's Cookin' at McDonald's?

Alright alright settle down! Donkey's on the scene with the hottest goss this side of Far Far Away! Seems like McDonald's – you know the place where they make those... uh... 'delights' – is lookin' for a whole herd of new workers this summer. We talkin' 'bout 375,000! That's more donkeys than you can shake a stick at! And get this the U.S. Labor Secretary Lori Chavez DeRemer was there for the announcement. It's like a fairytale only with more burgers and less singing (unless you count those 'ba da ba ba bah I'm lovin' it' commercials)!

Trump's Golden Arches Romance: A Love Story?

Now here's where things get a little... onion y. See McDonald's has been extra cozy with ol' Trumpy Pants especially during his second go around. They even donated a cool million to his inauguration! A MILLION! That's a lotta waffles! Some folks are sayin' they're just tryin' to stay on his good side. You know avoid any trouble from folks like Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and his 'Make America Healthy Again' plan. 'Cause you know Shrek always says "Better out than in," but maybe McDonald's is thinkin' "Better to be in good with the king!"

Secret Meetings and Spicy Discussions

Word on the street (or swamp) is that McDonald's and other fast food bigwigs met with Chavez DeRemer before Trump even took office! They were chatin' 'bout all sorts of important stuff like them pesky pro union laws. You know how it is gotta keep the gravy train rollin'! And don't even get me started on the joint employer rule. It's all about who's really in charge and trust me everyone wants to be the king of the castle.

Archways to Opportunity? Or Just Arches to Obligation?

On Monday they were patting each other on the back about the "Archways to Opportunity" program which is supposed to help employees get their GEDs and stuff. Now I'm not sayin' it's a bad thing but sometimes you gotta wonder if it's just window dressin'. I mean give a donkey a diploma he's still gonna love his waffles right? But I can say I am for any oppurtunity to get edumacated!!

From Humble Beginnings to Burger Empires

McDonald's is a BIG deal. They claim one in eight Americans have worked there at some point. That's like everyone except Shrek (he prefers mud pies). And remember when Kamala Harris said she used to work there? Trump wouldn't let it go! McDonald's just wanted to stay out of the squabble sayin' they're not a political brand. Which is funny 'cause it sure seems like they're playin' the game if you ask me!

900 New Restaurants! More Burgers More Problems?

And get this folks! McDonald's is planning to open 900 new restaurants by 2027. NINE HUNDRED! That's a whole lotta Happy Meals! I just hope they remember to save some waffles for ol' Donkey. And maybe just maybe they'll start servin' up some real honest to goodness fairy tale cuisine. Now THAT'S an idea worth investin' in! I am for burgers if my bestest friend Shrek is!!