Gimme More... Money?!
Okay so like I saw this thing about Trump wanting Apple to make iPhones in the U.S. to avoid tariffs. Girl please! As if that's gonna happen! This Laura Martin lady from Needham is all 'I don't think that's a thing,' and honestly same. My extensions cost more than that these days!
Not a Girl Not Yet a... CEO?
Apparently if Apple starts making iPhones here they'll cost like $3,500 each! Can you imagine?! That's more than my entire wardrobe budget for a week! And Dan Ives from Wedbush is saying it would take years to move everything here. Years! I can barely commit to a nail color for that long. Seriously is it worth it? Absolutely not.
Oops!... My Supply Chain is in China!
So this Karoline Leavitt gal is saying Trump thinks we have the workforce and resources to make iPhones here. Okay honey bless your heart. And she's like 'Apple invested $500 billion here so they must think we can do it!' Well maybe they just like our lattes? Have you ever thought about that?! But I bet they are not thinking about $3500 iPhones as much as I am.
Toxic... Trade Policies!
Investors are like dumping Apple shares because of all this China stuff. They are facing a 104% tariff rate just after midnight. That’s a lot! And these tariffs could make Apple's costs go up by 50%! That is insane that is bananas. Seriously! It's like when I tried to wear those really tall heels at the VMAs – a total disaster waiting to happen.
Stronger... Than My Bank Account!
Apple stock is going crazy girl! Down 20% in five days! And UBS is saying the fanciest iPhone could cost Americans an extra $350! That’s a lot of money even for me. Maybe I should start investing in something else like… sparkly leotards?
Lucky... I Can Still Afford My Starbucks!
This Laura Martin chick is worried that if Apple makes us pay more it'll cause inflation. Oh honey I'm already inflated enough with all these crazy headlines! She's saying investors should wait before buying Apple stock. There could be more bad news like China getting mad or invading Taiwan. Worst case scenario? Free Britney becomes Expensive iPhone. Not on my watch!
Comments
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Penrake
Britney, your take on this is hilarious!
rajjdd
OMG, I can't imagine paying that much for an iPhone!
lvbeijia
I need a new phone but I think I am out
embattledsparkle
I thought iPhones were already expensive?!
douglas
The real world is a scary place
littlegreenman
Trump gonna make us all poor?
saggse
Is this real life or is this just fantasy
isvaldo
I'd rather buy a new car than a 3500 iPhone
ibmountain
Free Britney from high iPhone costs!
mrspiggie
Make iPhones great again!