Gotham Diplomacy: Modi Schools Trump on International Relations (No Intervention Necessary)

The Clown Prince of Diplomacy?

News reaches the Batcave: Apparently someone thinks they stopped a war. Trump that is. Claims he brokered peace between India and Pakistan. 'I stopped the war,' he apparently boasted. Sounds like something the Riddler would cook up – a bizarre riddle with no basis in reality. Modi isn't having it. India firmly rejects any such claims. Some men just want to watch the world burn and others want to take credit for putting out fires they didn't start. This city taught me: appearances can be deceiving.

Gotham's Got Nothing on Global Tension

This isn't just about two countries; it's about a volatile region decades of tension and a potential nuclear conflict. Trump compared the situation to Israel and Iran. He seems to think international relations are as simple as a handshake and a poorly negotiated real estate deal. Gotham's criminals are nuanced compared to this guy. I bet he thinks he can just walk into Arkham and tell everyone to 'chill out'.

No Room for Mediators in This Town

Modi made it clear: India doesn't accept mediation. "There is complete political consensus in India on this matter," said Foreign Secretary Misri. This isn't some street brawl I can break up with a Batarang. This is geopolitics and it demands a level of understanding that apparently eludes certain world leaders. "It's not who I am underneath but what I do that defines me," I once said. Seems some people are defined by what they *don't* do (or in this case didn't do).

The Bat Signal Wasn't Involved

The phone call between Modi and Trump lasted 35 minutes. Trump initiated it. No Bat Signal was involved. I can assure you. I was busy dealing with Two Face trying to flip a coin to decide whether or not to nuke the Gotham stock exchange. Priorities people.

Trade Secrets and White House Lunches

Trump hosted Pakistan's chief of Army Staff for lunch. Claimed it was to thank him for "not going into the war" and to discuss a trade deal. Seems a bit backwards doesn't it? Rewarding someone for *not* starting a war? I reward my allies for actively fighting crime. Maybe I should start sending thank you notes to the Joker for only blowing up half the city instead of the whole thing.

The G7 Debacle: A Short Trip to Nowhere

Trump bailed on the G7 summit early citing tensions in the Middle East. Couldn't stick around for a few more hours of polite disagreement? Sounds like a spoiled brat avoiding vegetables at the dinner table. Maybe he should spend less time on Twitter and more time learning about actual diplomacy. Alfred always said "Some men aren't looking for anything logical like money. They can't be bought bullied reasoned or negotiated with." Apparently they can't be diplomatically engaged with either.