What in Tarnation?! Trump's Tariffs Are Messing with My Swamp (and Your Wallet!)

Ogres Don't Like Pricey Pads and Neither Should You!

Well howdy there folks! Shrek here reporting live from my humble abode – a swamp mind you not some fancy schmancy condo! But even an ogre like me knows somethin' stinks worse than a pile of dragon dung and that's these blasted tariffs! Apparently some fella named Trump is slapping taxes on steel and aluminum from Canada and Mexico and now these building fellas are raisin' prices faster than Donkey can eat a waffle! We're talking up to 20%! Twenty percent! Do you know how many onions I could buy with that kind of dough? And ogres need their onions!

Padding Prices? Sounds Like Donkey Trying to Hide From Dragon!

Now this fancy pants CEO of Related Group Jon Paul Pérez says these contractors are just 'padding' their numbers. Padding! Like Donkey trying to make himself look bigger than he is. Honestly it's like they're expecting to be swimming in gold like Rumpelstiltskin. They’re blaming the anticipation of tariffs and inflation the sneaky little devils. They need to remember that ogres are always watching!

Nine Thousand Two Hundred Shrekels?! That's a Lotta Onions!

The National Association of Home Builders – sounds like a bunch of carpenters who've been eatin' too many magic beans – says these rising material costs could add $9,200 to a typical home! $9,200! That's enough for a lifetime supply of onions for me and Fiona! It’s enough to keep me crying for a month! This whole situation is making me feel like I’m back in Far Far Away surrounded by all those ridiculously priced shops.

Immigration Woes? Sounds Like Someone Needs a Swamp Vacation!

And it gets worse! Jorge Pérez some big shot from Related says Trump's crackdown on immigration could also make things even MORE expensive! Apparently the construction industry relies on workers from overseas. Losing them will have an inflationary effect he says. It's like losing all my fireflies. Who is going to light up my swamp eh?!

Luxury Condos? More Like Luxury Nightmares!

Of course the rich folks are doing just fine. Related sold two fancy penthouses for $150 million! $150 million! You could buy a whole KINGDOM for that! Jorge Pérez says these high end buyers are less affected. No kidding! They are probably living in a castle right out of Far Far Away! But what about the rest of us living in our affordable swamps?!

Middle Market Blues: Time for a Swamp Intervention!

It's the middle class folks buying those $1 million to $3 million condos who are feelin' the pinch. They're waitin' and seein' like Donkey waitin' for Dragon to bake him a cake. And those South American buyers? They're worried about losing their visas. Some of them were ready to sign contracts but backed out because of these tariffs. Guess they decided to stay in their own swamps eh? Well I'll tell you what folks: someone needs to get their swamp in order!