Shiny Things Still Sellin' Like Crazy! (Even if My Rockets are Cheaper)

Ka Ching! Cartier's Makin' Bank!

Okay so some boring Swiss guys in suits (yawn!) are all excited because Richemont – that's the crew who owns Cartier Van Cleef & Arpels and some other places where they sell shiny things – made a boatload of cash. Like seriously who NEEDS another diamond? I could buy like a thousand rockets with that kinda dough! But hey keeps the world spinnin' right?

Tick Tock the Watch Sales Drop!

But hold on! Not everything's glitter and gold! Seems like their fancy watch division – you know the ones that tell time (like anyone actually *needs* to know what time it is!) – hit a snag. Asia Pacific especially China wasn't buying as many. Maybe they all got distracted by my fireworks shows? Probably. It's always my fault isn't it? 'Jinx did it!' Blah blah blah. They can't handle my level of genius clearly.

Japan's Yen for Sparkles!

But guess who *is* buying all the bling? Japan! They're snapping up those shiny things like there's no tomorrow! All that tourist money and a weak Yen means more boom boom for them. Lucky ducks! Maybe I should take Pow Pow for a vacation... Blow up a volcano or something right?

Old Rupert's Still Raking It In

Some dude named Johann Rupert (sounds like a fancy robot name to me!) is yappin' about how great the 'Group's performance' is. Yadda yadda yadda. Bottom line? They're still rollin' in the dough. Even sellin' used watches for more dough! Makes you wonder what else they got under their sleeves right?

Uh Oh Trouble Brewing?

But hold on to your hats folks! These boring banker types are worried about stuff like gold prices U.S. tariffs and currency swings. Sounds like a party to me!! They're scared because those things could mess with their profits. 'Strong agility and discipline' is what Rupert says I say more bombs!

Pricey Jewels to the Rescue!

But don't worry the rich folks will be alright. Some other boring bank dudes think they can just jack up the prices to make up for it all. Genius! Who needs real solutions when you can just squeeze more money out of the shiny obsessed? Sheesh I could run this world...if I wasn't so busy having fun!