Hyrule's Exclusive Club: Even Ganon Couldn't Afford This Membership!

A Golden Rupee's Ransom!

By the Goddess Hylia! I Zelda have stumbled upon news so shocking it makes even Ganon's schemes seem... reasonably priced? Apparently in a realm far far away from Hyrule (Washington D.C. they call it) a new 'Executive Branch' club is demanding a whopping $500,000 just to get in the door! And annual dues on top of that? Is this a new form of Triforce extortion? "Well excuuuuuse me Princess!" This price is outrageous!

Who's Got the Triforce of Wealth?

According to sources the club is the brainchild of Donald Trump Jr. and some business folks. Apparently this 'Executive Branch' launch party was packed with politicians CEOs and tech wizards. I can't help but wonder if any of them know the secret to infinite rupees... or you know just a well placed fairy fountain.

Hyrule's Elite vs. D.C.'s 'Executive Branch'

Now in Hyrule we have our exclusive spots like the Zora Domain or maybe even Link's treehouse (if you can find it of course). But paying half a million rupees (or dollars) just to hang out? That's something even King Zora might raise an eyebrow at. Unless this club has a secret Ocarina of Time that can rewind my student loans I'm not convinced. Listen!

Secrecy is Key... or is it?

The article mentions that members are heavily vetted and they don't want 'members of the media or just a lot of lobbyists.' Sounds like someone's guarding their secrets tighter than the Triforce of Wisdom. I wonder what kind of quests you have to complete to earn a referral. Maybe solving a block puzzle with no hints? Or defeating a Darknut with a rusty spoon?

Trump Hotel 2.0?

Apparently this 'Executive Branch' is meant to be the new hotspot in Washington. If it’s anything like the old Trump Hotel prepare for a lot of ethical controversy. Hopefully this one doesn’t require a quest to the Master Sword to navigate the political landscape. It's a secret to everybody.

Hyrule's Verdict: Proceed with Caution!

In conclusion while the 'Executive Branch' sounds like a place of power and privilege it also sounds like a potential disaster waiting to happen. Just remember even if you have all the rupees in the world true power comes from wisdom courage and a really good shield. And maybe a fairy in a bottle just in case.