What in Tarnation?! Trump's Throwing a $45 Million Party with Tanks and Helicopters!

Like an Ogre Needs a Swamp: Trump's Big Day Out

Well butter my biscuits and call me a donkey's uncle! Seems this fella Trump bless his cotton socks is throwin' himself a right royal shindig in Washington. They say it's to celebrate the Army turning 250 but I reckon it's just an excuse for him to show off more metal than a dragon's hoard. Tanks helicopters the whole shebang! It's like he's trying to turn Washington into Duloc... only you know less charming and more… pointy.

"Some People are Worth Melting For": The Costly Celebration

Now I'm no expert on fancy city livin' but even I know that all this hullabaloo ain't gonna be cheap. We're talkin' $45 million! That's enough to buy Fiona a whole castle made of onions! And folks are gettin' riled up about it sayin' it's a waste of good swamp I mean government money. But Trump? He says it's 'peanuts.' Well maybe he should try livin' on peanuts for a week and see how he likes it!

Ogres Have Layers and So Does This Parade

But wait there's more! While Trump's parading around like he's won the Donkey Lottery others are planning a little… get together of their own. They're callin' it 'No Kings Day,' and they're protesting all sorts of things. Seems like everyone's got an opinion and they ain't afraid to share it. It's gonna be a right ol' spectacle alright. A split screen that'll make your swamp water curdle.

This is My Swamp! (or is it?)

And it gets even better. Remember those tensions in Los Angeles? Seems like things are still simmering there after Trump sent in the National Guard. It's like stirrin' up a cauldron of trouble if you ask me. And now he's threatenin' folks in D.C. with 'very big force' if they get out of line. Reminds me of the time I had to deal with Lord Farquaad… only you know less vertically challenged.

Like a Bad Onion This Story Keeps Makin' Me Cry

On top of all that there's some hullabaloo going on in the Middle East with Israel and Iran battlin' it out. It's all a bit too much for this simple ogre to take in. I just wanna be left alone in my swamp eatin' mud pies and avoidin' the drama. Is that too much to ask?

Donkey I Think We're in a Bad Fanstasy Movie!

So there you have it. A big ol' military parade protests galore and a whole heap of tension in the air. Seems like everyone's got an axe to grind and nobody's listenin' to each other. Makes you wonder if we're all just livin' in some kinda crazy fairytale gone wrong. But hey at least there'll be fireworks! Maybe I can sneak in and snag a few for my swamp. Just don't tell Donkey.