Good News Everyone! Vaccine Skeptics Invade Government Panel!

Sweet Zombie Jesus! A Shake Up at the ACIP!

Good news everyone! It appears that someone has tampered with the timeline. Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in a move that smells like bad fish has replaced all members of the Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices or ACIP. Yes the same ACIP that decides who gets the stabby stab and whether your insurance covers it! This is like replacing the crew of the Planet Express with a bunch of space pirates. To shreds you say? Well we’ll see about that.

Vaccine Critics? Oh My Yes!

Now here's the kicker. Some of these new members are shall we say 'skeptical' about vaccines. Skeptical like Zoidberg is skeptical of having friends. One of them is a Dr. Robert Malone who claims to have invented mRNA vaccines but now spouts nonsense about Covid 19 shots. It’s like inventing the internet and then using it to spread rumors about Nibblonians. The internet is not a big truck. It's a series of tubes!

mRNA? More Like Mmm No!

Another worrywart is Retsef Levi who wants to stop giving mRNA vaccines claiming they cause 'serious harm including death.' It's like saying Slurm Loco gives you superpowers! Which incidentally it DOES NOT! These chaps seem determined to throw a wrench into the works which according to my calculations could have disastrous consequences!

Atlanta We Have a Problem!

This Wednesday in the city of Atlanta (which I visited once but that's another story involving a rogue time machine and a flock of robotic chickens) this panel will be discussing Covid 19 vaccines and RSV shots. I shudder to think what kind of mischief they will concoct maybe they want to bring back Small Pox... to shreds you say?

The CDC Must Weigh In!

Of course even if these new members recommend something bonkers the CDC director has to approve it. Hopefully they have a good head on their shoulders unlike that Nixon's head I keep in a jar. It's like he doesn't care at all... which is accurate.

Wernstrom! This Could Be a Disaster!

In conclusion this whole situation smells fishier than a week old anchovy milkshake. We can only hope that these new ACIP members will act responsibly and remember the words of wisdom of a great man... me! As I always say 'When will I learn? The answer: Never!'. Though in this instance if they don't learn it might be the end of us all! Good news everyone!