Believe It! Trump Channels My Inner Rasengan to End Ukraine War (Maybe?)

Putin's Missiles?! Believe It! What's Going On?

Hey everyone Naruto Uzumaki here! So I've been hearing some seriously uncool stuff. Seems like this Trump guy is wondering why Putin is still blasting missiles into Ukraine. He's all like 'Maybe Putin's just pulling my leg believe it!' Honestly even I wouldn't pull that kind of prank and you know I love a good prank like the time I painted the Hokage Monument! But this is no laughing matter. War is bad dattebayo! It's like when Sasuke went rogue – totally messed up!

Talk No Jutsu Fails? Time for Shadow Clone Banking?

So Trump is talking about 'Banking' and 'Secondary Sanctions'. I'm not entirely sure what that means but it sounds like a super serious jutsu! Maybe he's trying to use some kind of financial genjutsu to stop Putin? I always thought Talk No Jutsu was the best way like when I convinced Nagato to bring everyone back to life after he destroyed the Hidden Leaf Village. But hey if banking works I'm all for it! Less fighting more ramen!

Zelenskyy and Trump: A 'Symbolic Meeting' Is Peace on the Horizon?

Apparently Trump and Zelenskyy met in Rome. Zelenskyy said it was a 'good meeting' and 'symbolic'. Sounds promising right? I hope they had some good ramen! Maybe they even bonded over their shared love of orange (Trump’s tan my jumpsuit – it’s a connection believe it!). Seriously though I hope they're working towards a real peace deal. World peace is my ultimate goal ya know!

Crimea: A Bone of Contention Bigger Than a Bowl of Ichiraku Ramen?

Okay things get a little complicated here. Trump seems to be saying that Crimea is kinda sorta Russia's now even though he admits Russia 'stole' it. Zelenskyy is NOT happy about this. It's like saying Sasuke is still evil – it's just not true anymore! Everyone deserves a chance to change right? But taking land by force is definitely a no no. It reminds me of when Akatsuki tried to steal all the tailed beasts for the wrong reasons!

Obama's Fault?! Don't Blame the Past Fix the Present!

Trump's blaming Obama for letting Russia take Crimea 'without even a shot being fired.' Look I'm not a history buff but finger pointing doesn't solve anything. It's like blaming Kakashi sensei for being late – it's just a waste of time! We need to focus on what we can do NOW to help Ukraine and bring peace.

Deal 'Close'? Let's Get This Show on the Road! (To Peace)

Trump says Russia and Ukraine are 'very close to a deal' and that 'most of the major points are agreed to.' Alright! That's what I like to hear! Let's get those 'very high levels' together and 'finish it off'! Time to use my Rasengan of optimism and blast this war into oblivion! Believe it! World peace is gonna be awesome!