SHISHISHI! Fake Cop Causes Big Trouble! Where's the Meat?!

Meat's Off the Menu!

Oi guys! Luffy here reporting live from... well not from Minnesota! Sounds like a real bummer of a place right now. Seems some meanie named Vance pretending to be a cop went on a rampage. He hurt some important people like this Speaker lady Melissa Hortman and her hubby! It's like when Usopp tries to trick me out of my meat but way WAY worse! No one gets to mess with good people ya hear?! Where's the meat for the good people?!

Stable Condition... Like Franky's Back!

This Vance guy also shot some other folks a Senator named John Hoffman and his wife! But good news they're stable! Like when Franky gets all patched up after a big fight SUPER! But we gotta catch this guy before he causes more trouble. He's got a list like Nami's treasure map but instead of treasure it's filled with more important people to hurt! That's not cool not cool at all!

Everyone's On Edge Even Zoro Would be Lost!

Apparently everyone's on edge like when Zoro gets lost in a straight line! Senator Klobuchar says this Vance dude could still be hiding somewhere nearby. They're searching everywhere! It's like trying to find Sanji when he's chasing after Nami and Robin! Good luck with that! SHISHISHI!

FBI's Got the Meat Er Bounty!

The FBI's offering a HUGE reward! 50,000 berries! I mean dollars! For anyone who can rat out this Vance guy. It's like finding the All Blue but instead of tasty fish you get to help catch a bad guy! If you see him don't be a hero like me just call the numbers! Let the grown ups handle it okay?

Speaker Lady Was a Real Hero!

They say this Melissa Hortman lady was super important like the 'most consequential Speaker' ever! Sounds like she was a real hero fighting for what's right! It's like when Nami stands up to Arlong or Robin deciphers a Poneglyph! We gotta remember the good she did and make sure this kinda thing never happens again!

Even Trump is Mad!

Even President Trump said this was bad like super bad! I don't know much about politics but hurting people is NEVER okay! It's like stealing my meat or messing with my friends! Unforgivable! Let's all keep our eyes peeled and help catch this bad guy so everyone can feel safe again. SHISHISHI!