Recession Looms! Jamie Dimon Sees Economic Doom!

Dimon's Dire Prediction Hear You Must!

Hmmm a recession Jamie Dimon sees. Likely it is he says. Tariffs President Trump imposes roiling the markets they are. Stocks and bonds sold off aggressively they have. A disturbance in the Force I feel yes. Like the dark side uncertainty is corrupting everything it does. A 2000 point decline much fear there is. Lose money in your 401(k) you will cut back you must. Always two there are no more no less. A master and an apprentice. Or in this case a bull market and a recession hmmm?

Trump's Tariffs A Path to the Dark Side?

Rising recession fears are on Wall Street hmm. Tariffs the cause they may be. China slapping tariffs on U.S. goods they are. An 84% tariff no small matter that is. "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." And suffering yes a recession brings. Patience you must have young Padawans of the market. But also plan for the worst you should yes. Like preparing to fight Darth Sidious it is hmmm.

Numbers Don't Lie Or Do They?

Down Dow futures are more than 800 points. Up Treasury yields soar hmm. Contract U.S. GDP will JPMorgan economists say. A mild recession they call it. But always remember "Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size do you?" Small contraction it may be but significant the impact could be yes. Beware the dark side of economic indicators hmm. Misleading they can be.

Markets: Right Are They?

Uncertainty the markets are pricing in Dimon says. Right they are he thinks. The macro and micro levels affected they are. Consumer sentiment a fragile thing it is. "Always in motion is the future." So hard to tell the future is hmm. But prepare you must for whatever may come. Use the Force yes but also due diligence and common sense you should employ.

A Flip Flop Dimon's Stance Is!

Ah a supporter of tariffs Dimon once was. Now a negotiator he urges. "Get over it," he said once. Inflation worth it for national security he believed. Now a deep breath he advises. Progress we must make he says. "Do. Or do not. There is no try." But beware young Jedi politicians they often change their minds hmmm. Like sand their opinions are shifting with the winds.

Deals Make Them!

Negotiate you must Dimon says. Calm you must remain even if progress is slow. Bowman confirm her the Senate must. Overseeing the banking system she will be. "You must unlearn what you have learned." New strategies we need to navigate this economic storm hmm. Trust in the Force yes but also competent leadership essential it is. If fail we do only pain will we find.