Trump Admin Eyes Suspending Habeas Corpus: 'I Don't Believe It!'...But Here's Why You Should

A Wrinkle in Time (and Law)

Right strap in darlings! News has reached my ears—ears that have heard the whispers of forgotten gods and the cries of mummies mind you—that the Trump administration is 'actively looking at' suspending the writ of habeas corpus for migrants. Habeas Corpus? Sounds like a spell from an ancient tome doesn't it? But trust me this isn't about raising the dead (though some political careers certainly seem to defy natural laws). It's about the right to challenge your detention in court. Seems someone's been raiding a few too many tombs of justice eh?

Miller's 'Invasion' and the Fine Print

Stephen Miller bless his cotton socks claims the Constitution allows for this during an 'invasion.' 'Invasion,' he says! Last time I checked caravans of people weren't exactly storming the beaches with battering rams. But then again perhaps I've been spending too much time dodging booby traps to keep up with the latest semantics. He says the courts are blocking efforts to deport immigrants including alleged gang members without court proceedings. Now where have I seen this before? Oh yeah the countless number of times I was trying to get in a temple that was guarded by some type of crazy security and the 'authorities' were none too pleased.

When the Courts Don't 'Do the Right Thing'

According to Miller Trump's decision hinges on whether the courts 'do the right thing,' which apparently means rubber stamping deportations. Reminds me of some two bit dictator I once encountered in the jungles of Borneo. 'My way or the highway,' was his motto. Didn't end well for him naturally. But the question remains if we do not have any checks and balances how can one make the right choices? By throwing a coin?

Historical Precedent: Handle With Extreme Care

The writ's been suspended only four times since the Constitution's been kicking around and usually only with Congress's blessing. Lincoln did it during the Civil War which let's face it was a tad more pressing than this 'invasion.' Even Amy Coney Barrett—yes that Amy Coney Barrett—noted that it's generally agreed only Congress should pull that lever. 'On every other occasion the executive has proceeded only after first securing congressional authorization,' she noted. So what is it now? The end of days just like the Mayans predicted?

Magna Carta and the Law of the Land...Or Lack Thereof?

This habeas corpus hoo ha dates back to the Magna Carta. 'No man shall be arrested or imprisoned...except by the lawful judgment of his peers and by the law of the land.' Sounds reasonable doesn't it? Unless of course you're trying to justify building walls and locking people up without due process. Then suddenly ancient legal principles become rather inconvenient. Now I understand how those crazy mummies felt when I disturbed their rest.

My Two Drachmas

Honestly this whole affair smells fishier than a week old cod. Using the term 'invasion' to justify suspending basic rights is a slippery slope and I've navigated steeper cliffs in my time. Let's hope some cooler heads prevail before we start tossing centuries of legal precedent into the nearest volcano. After all 'I don't believe it!' we are even having this conversation.