Top DOJ Official Caught Telling Lawyers To Flip Off Judges? Sounds Like My Kind Of Party!

Chaos Theory in Action!

Alright you glorious Powder Monkeys Jinx here reporting live from the absolutely bonkers world of grown up politics! Word on the street is that this Emil Bove dude a Trump nominee for some fancy judge gig allegedly told his DOJ lawyers to tell judges to 'f k you' and ignore court orders about deporting immigrants. Seriously? That’s like straight out of my playbook! 'Rules are made to be broken!' as I always say. Though personally I prefer blowing things up to just saying 'f k you.' More effective ya know?

Planes Trains and Automobiles... of DEPORTATION!

Apparently this Bove guy was super serious about getting those planes full of immigrants off the ground 'no matter what!' Sounds like someone’s got a serious case of the 'gotta go fast' fever! Me I'm more of a 'blow it up real good' kinda gal but hey to each their own brand of crazy! This Reuveni fella the whistleblower was all like 'Oh no the rule of law!' Meanwhile I’m over here thinking 'Rules? What rules?'

Whistleblower Blues: Singin' the Song of Getting Fired!

So this Reuveni guy he actually told a judge that the administration made a boo boo deporting some poor sap to a prison in El Salvador despite a court order. And what does he get for his honesty? He gets 'thwarted threatened fired and publicly disparaged!' Typical! Honesty doesn't pay kids. Ask Vi – oh wait you can't she's too busy trying to put me in jail! Anyway Reuveni got canned for refusing to lie in legal papers. What a chump! Doesn’t he know lying is like the cornerstone of… well lots of things!

Undermining the Rule of… What Was It Again?

Reuveni claims he saw all sorts of shady stuff – DOJ officials ignoring court orders making up arguments with no basis in reality and straight up lying to the courts. He was even told to misrepresent facts! I’m starting to think these government types are just big kids playing pretend except with way more paperwork. And way less explosions! Seriously where’s the fun in that?

Senator Durbin Drops the Truth Bomb!

Senator Dick Durbin (hehe 'Dick') is all riled up saying Bove has 'abused his position' and that this Reuveni dude is shining a light on Bove’s 'alleged misconduct.' He's urging his Republican buddies not to confirm Bove. Honestly this is all just political jibber jabber to me. But hey if it means more chaos and maybe a few explosions I’m all for it! 'Here comes Jinx!'

Blanche's Bluster: A Denial Denied!

Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche (another funny name!) calls Reuveni’s claims 'falsehoods' and 'garbage,' accusing the media of planting a 'false hit piece.' He claims no one at the meeting suggested ignoring court orders. Sure Jan! I bet he also believes in unicorns and that Vi actually likes me! Someone needs to tell Todd to chill out and maybe embrace a little mayhem. It's good for the soul! Though I guess it’s not very lawful is it?