Mail Mayhem: Ex-Trash Boss Takes Over USPS! Is This a Joke?

New Boss Who Dis?

Okay okay settle down Powder Monkeys! So word on the street (or should I say blasted through the streets?) is that some dude named David Steiner is the new big cheese at the USPS. Apparently this guy used to run Waste Management. Waste… Management? You mean like TRASH? Are you KIDDING ME?! First they deliver my bills now they're gonna be in charge of my garbage too? Talk about a real 'Pow Pow' of a problem!

FedEx? More Like Fedi NO!

And get this – he was on the board of FedEx. FED EX! It's like hiring Vi to be the head of my demolition crew. Talk about a conflict of interest! Are they gonna start delivering packages with… garbage trucks? I can see it now 'Special Delivery: One Slightly Used Banana Peel!' Seriously this has 'Kaboom!' written all over it. I can't wait to see what ideas this guy brings to the table. Maybe we can use USPS trucks to deliver my bombs now!

Billions Down the Drain... Literally?

Apparently the USPS is bleeding money faster than I can spend it on ammo. A whopping $9.5 billion net loss in 2024. $108 billion since 2007! No wonder they're bringing in the trash guy! Maybe he knows how to make money out of… well trash! I bet this guy will start charging extra for delivering junk mail. Smart move I guess. I hate junk mail it's even more useless than Caitlyn’s traps!

A History of Delivering... Stuff?

Steiner's all like 'It's an honor to lead the world's greatest postal organization!' Yeah yeah yeah. It's been around before the United States was even a thing. Okay boomer. So what? It's old. I prefer things that go BOOM! Besides what's so great about delivering letters? Seems boring. I'd rather be delivering explosions.

Trash to Treasure? Or Just More Trash?

They say he transformed operations at Waste Management. So does that mean the mail is gonna smell like garbage now? I swear if my Fishbones order smells like old banana peels I'm gonna lose it! Maybe he'll make the mail carriers wear those funny garbage man outfits. That’d be something imagine seeing a mailman running with a grenade launcher!

Is this the beginning of the end?

Well folks buckle up. It's gonna be a wild ride! Who knows what's gonna happen with this new trash I mean 'executive' at the helm. All I know is if the mail starts showing up late or smelling funny or worse... if they try to stop me from blowing things up... well let's just say the USPS will have more problems than just losing money. "Here comes Jinx!" Get excited! Things are about to get a whole lot more… interesting.