Southwest Airlines Ditches Free Bags! Even Iron Man Can't Fly Free Anymore?

What's the Fuss Shellhead?

Alright people listen up! Tony Stark here reporting live from the skies (or well soon to be grounded because of these new fees). Southwest Airlines the airline that practically invented 'two bags fly free,' is now charging to check your luggage! Can you believe it? It's like JARVIS suddenly demanding a salary! I mean what's next? Charging for peanuts? Oh wait... they already did that.

The Price of Freedom (and Checked Bags)

Apparently those bean counters upstairs are feeling the pinch. Last year airlines raked in a whopping $7.3 billion in baggage fees. Seven. Point. Three. Billion! I could build a whole new suit with that kind of cash! And some activist investor group Elliott Investment Management started poking around and suggesting shall we say 'revenue enhancements.' So now Southwest is joining the dark side slapping fees on those once sacred checked bags.

Who Gets a Free Pass?

Now before everyone starts panic packing their entire wardrobes into carry ons (which by the way they’re increasing the size of the overhead bins about time) there are a few loopholes. If you're a Rapid Rewards VIP flying Business Select or flashing a Southwest credit card you might still get a free ride for your bags. Think of it as the airline equivalent of the Avengers Initiative – exclusive perks for the elite!

Enter Basic Economy: The No Frills Flight of Fury!

But wait there's more! Southwest is also rolling out basic economy tickets. No changes last to board and your credits expire faster than my patience with bureaucracy. It's like they're taking a page out of Obadiah Stane's playbook – stripping everything down to the bare bones to maximize profit. Also farewell “Wanna Get Away” fare. It was nice knowing you!

Assigned Seating? What Is This a Board Meeting?

Hold on to your hats folks because this one's a doozy. Southwest is *gasp* introducing assigned seating! Yes you heard that right. No more mad dash to snag a window seat. Starting in 2026 you'll be able to pick your spot like civilized human beings. Or you know robots. Honestly it feels like the end of an era. An era of chaos sure but still...an era.

Damage Control: Can Southwest Handle the Heat?

Southwest is bracing for impact predicting an influx of carry ons. They're installing bigger overhead bins and equipping staff with mobile bag tag printers. But let's be real folks are already venting their frustrations all over social media. It's like the Twitterverse just discovered my past mistakes all over again! But according to Southwest CEO Bob Jordan customers are still purchasing the flights. Time will tell I guess.