Fortune and Chainsaws: Indy's Take on the New Tax Bill!

Snakes Why Did It Have to Be Taxes?

Right so I've seen a few things in my time – snakes Nazis Soviet agents but this new tax bill... well it's a whole different kind of booby trap. The House of Representatives just passed what they're calling Trump's 'One Big Beautiful Bill.' Beautiful for whom I wonder? I've got a bad feeling about this...

The Map to Riches (For Some)

This bill supposedly filled with 'trillions of dollars in tax cuts' and 'beefed up immigration enforcement,' is being balanced with some serious cuts to Medicaid and other programs. Sounds like they're robbing Peter to pay... well probably Peter's much richer cousin. You know I’m reminded of that greedy archaeologist Belloq. Always after the big score never caring who gets hurt in the process. This bill has that same glint in its eye.

Whips and Hard Bargains

Apparently it wasn't all smooth sailing to get this thing through. Even the Republicans had some holdouts warning about exacerbating deficits. Sounds like they needed a little... persuasion. Speaker Johnson and Trump himself had to lean on them much like I’ve had to ‘encourage’ a few double crossing natives in my time. Of course my methods usually involved a whip and a healthy dose of archaeological double talk not backroom deals. Though I suspect there’s not much difference.

The Senate's Close Call: A Tie Breaker of Doom!

The Senate passage was tighter than my hat after a tumble down a ravine! Had to have JD Vance break a 50 50 tie. Close calls I tell you close calls! This thing squeaked through like a rat in a tomb and that usually means there’s trouble ahead!

The Chainsaw Massacre of Social Programs

The Democrats are having a field day with this and frankly I can see why. Jeffries went on a record breaking rant about Republicans 'taking a chainsaw to Social Security Medicare Medicaid...' You get the picture. While I'm used to escaping booby traps it sounds like millions of Americans might be walking right into one. Remember the Hovitos tribe folks? You don't want to be on the receiving end of political sharp objects! Always pay attention to those around you because you never know when a sharp object will appear...

Debt Tariffs and The End of The World As We Know It?

And to top it all off the Congressional Budget Office warns this bill could add trillions to the national debt. Plus Trump's talking about bringing back tariffs. Honestly it’s enough to make you want to find a nice quiet dig site and forget the world. But alas as I’ve learned time and time again: “We are only custodians of these relics and if we wish to continue to have access to them we must pay!” This time the relics are the American people!