Wake Me When You Need Me: U.S. Snags Minerals Deal with Ukraine, More 'Minerals for Muscle' on the Horizon?

Another Day Another War... For Minerals?

Alright Spartans listen up. Seems like the UNSC... I mean the *U.S.* has scored a deal with Ukraine for some serious minerals. Apparently it's all about 'economic ties' and 'strategic positioning.' Sounds suspiciously like fighting the Covenant all over again but with shovels instead of plasma rifles. As if I didn't have enough on my plate with the Flood the Covenant and Cortana's existential crises now we've got mineral wars brewing. Great.

Minerals for Muscle: Is That A Threat?

This 'minerals for muscle' thing? It's what they're calling these deals. It sounds like something the Brutes would come up with. 'Give us shiny rocks and we won't smash your faces!' But hey if it keeps the lights on and the Earth spinning I guess I'm all in as long as no one starts building Halo rings out of this stuff. We've been down that road.

Congo on the Horizon?

Rumor has it the U.S. is eyeing the Democratic Republic of the Congo next. Big cobalt reserves there. I'm no minerals expert but cobalt sounds like something we could use in a new MJOLNIR upgrade right? Maybe a self charging shield? Just throwing ideas out there. But let's hope they play nice this time. No need to go all Reach on anyone.

Canada: 51st State or Just a Really Big Neighbor?

And then there's Canada. Apparently Trump wants them as the 51st state. Good luck with that pal. Last time I checked Canadians weren't exactly thrilled about becoming 'Americanized.' Plus they've got beavers. Beavers are scary. As for a minerals for muscle agreement? Canada's playing hardball demanding 'more certainty' in their trade relationship. Someone's been watching too many negotiation videos.

Resource Nationalism: It's the Economy Stupid!

Apparently everyone's getting all nationalistic about their resources. It's like a galactic game of 'mine mine mine!' Honestly reminds me of the Grunts fighting over methane tanks. Except this time the stakes are a little higher than a sugar rush. Trade wars mineral deals who needs the Covenant when you have this kind of chaos?

Wake Me When It's Over

So there you have it Spartans. The world is fighting over rocks Trump wants to annex Canada and I'm still waiting for a decent vacation. Wake me when they figure out how to synthesize these minerals so we can all go back to fighting aliens in peace. Until then I'll be in the cryo chamber dreaming of simpler times. Like when all we had to worry about was the Flood. *Sigh*.