Trump Claims He Ended India-Pakistan Conflict? Negative, I Have the Gun.

Wake Me When You Need Me... To Debunk Fake News

Alright Spartans listen up. Seems like someone's been watching too much propaganda on the holonet. Earth's Donald Trump is running around claiming he brokered a ceasefire between India and Pakistan. Yeah right. Next thing you know he'll be saying he single handedly took down the Covenant. I heard it all the way back here in my secret undisclosed location. Prime Minister Modi had to personally tell him to pump the brakes. The official word is that India doesn't want any 'mediation,' and there's full consensus on that. Sounds like someone needs a fact checking AI pronto. I got one collecting dust I'll give it to him no charge.

Negative Ghost Rider the Pattern is Full... Of Hot Air

According to Foreign Secretary Vikram Misri Modi "clearly conveyed" that the US didn't play any role in mediating. No trade deals were discussed either. This whole thing started after a terror attack in Kashmir leading to some serious back and forth between India and Pakistan. Trump in his infinite wisdom has been running around saying he "stopped the war." I haven't heard claims like that since Johnson got his hands on a plasma rifle. This isn't some training exercise this is real world diplomacy! And someone's got their facts twisted tighter than a Grunt's intestines after a plasma grenade incident. Believe me I know a thing or two about wars.

I Need a Weapon... and Maybe a Reality Check for Someone

Trump even compared the conflict between Israel and Iran to the India Pakistan situation saying they should make a deal 'just like I got India and Pakistan to make.' 'Just like I got India and Pakistan to make?' That's rich. Sounds like something Cortana would say if she was messing with me. The reality is the only thing Trump seems to be brokering is a deal on the truth. Maybe someone should introduce him to a few Brutes. That would clear things up in a jiffy.

Don't Make a Girl a Promise... If You Know You Can't Keep It

One reason India's statement was so blunt might be because Trump hosted Pakistan's chief of Army Staff for lunch. He told reporters it was to 'thank him for not going into the war' and discuss a trade deal. Seriously? I've fought alongside Elites with more diplomatic finesse than that. It's one thing to talk tough but another to alienate allies with empty promises and self congratulatory pronouncements. That's not how you win hearts and minds that's how you get overrun by the Flood.

I'm Good at Killing... but Not Believing Everything I Hear

Trump and Modi were supposed to meet at the G7 summit but Trump bailed early due to tensions in the Middle East. So let me get this straight: he claims to be a master peacemaker but he's skipping out on international summits because of…tensions? The hypocrisy is thicker than a Scarab's armor plating! Look I'm just a soldier. I follow orders. But I also know when something smells like a load of Bantha fodder. And this whole situation? It reeks.

Were It So Easy... To Believe That

So the final verdict? Don't believe everything you hear especially if it comes with a healthy dose of self aggrandizement. Focus on the facts stay vigilant and remember: sometimes the best way to stop a war is to have a Spartan on the front lines not someone claiming credit from the sidelines. Chief out. I've got a Covenant War to attend to and people I've been protecting that don't make up lies about me. We didn't need the UNSC to win the war and I'm sure India and Pakistan feel the same.