Microsoft's Layoff Spree! Are They Trading Employees for Magic Beans?

WAH SHING TON We Have a Problem!

Alright alright settle down! Donkey's on the scene! Word on the street (or you know the digital grapevine) is that Microsoft gave a whole heap of folks in Washington the old heave ho. We're talking 830 good folks! That's like half of Duloc! Game designers audio wizards even some engineer types who probably knew how to build a *real* castle not just some glorified gingerbread house all gone! What's going on Microsoft? You trying to build a new kingdom or something?

Game Over Man! Game Over!

So get this a bunch of video game developers got the axe. Developers! I thought they were the golden geese of the tech world. Maybe Microsoft's trying to cut costs because their Xbox ain't selling as well as they hoped? They mentioned Xbox content and services only grew 8%. Eight percent! That's not even a dragon's hoard! Maybe they should hire me to do the marketing. 'Xbox: So good it'll make you say 'Sheeeerk!''

Lawyers Clouds and Tears (Oh My!)

Ten lawyers got the boot too! Ten! Seems like somebody wasn't arguing their case very well eh? And get this even cloud architecture folks got the chop. Nineteen gone! You'd think with all that cloud technology they could just upload the jobs to I dunno another dimension? But nah gotta let 'em go. What a load of... onions!

Secret Agent Man (Or Woman?)

Apparently this whole thing is supposed to be about getting rid of 'redundancy' and making everyone focus on 'more meaningful work.' Sounds like corporate mumbo jumbo to me. Like when Pinocchio says he's not lying… but his nose is growing! But I bet if they hired me Donkey as motivation speaker they would be just fine.

Where's Shrek When You Need Him?

CEO Satya Nadella hasn't said boo about this whole mess. Maybe he's hiding in a swamp somewhere hoping it all blows over. And the CFO Amy Hood she just muttered something about 'cost efficiencies.' Cost efficiencies! That's cold man cold! Show some heart people!

Donkey's Verdict: This Stinks!

Look I'm just a talking donkey but even I know that laying off thousands of people is a crummy thing to do. Especially when you're a mega corporation like Microsoft! So here's my message to them: Treat your employees right! Because if you don't you might just find a certain ogre and his donkey friend paying you a little visit. And trust me you don't want that!