Capital One's Lounge Lockdown: Because Even Millionaires Need Elbow Room (Apparently)

Gotham Gazette: Lounges No Longer a Free For All

Citizens of Gotham your Dark Knight reports! It seems even the wealthy can't catch a break these days. Capital One in a move that echoes the bureaucratic nightmare of Arkham Asylum is tightening the velvet ropes around its airport lounges. Apparently those complimentary cocktails and plush seating have become a hot commodity attracting more patrons than a Bat Signal over Crime Alley. As someone who values personal space this is somewhat understandable. Though I usually prefer the Batcave for pre flight preparations Alfred's martinis are far superior to anything they're serving at JFK.

The $75,000 Bat Spending Threshold

To keep the riff raff (and by riff raff I mean people who haven't spent the GDP of a small nation on their credit card) out Capital One is introducing a new spending threshold. A whopping $75,000 per year. One might ask what I spend on to require $75,000 of credit card spending a year. Well batarangs aren't free you know. Nor are the specialized blends of motor oil that keep the Batmobile purring. Those things add up. Primary cardholders will have to spend at least $75,000 per calendar year to bring up to two complimentary free guests to Capital One lounges and one guest to Capital One Landings. It sounds like something the Joker would come up with.

Why So Crowded?: The Dark Side of Luxury

Capital One claims this is to combat overcrowding. Like Gotham on a bad night. 'As airport lounges continue to grow in popularity,' they say 'we've seen our customers increasingly encounter wait times to enter them.' Wait times? The horror! It reminds me of the time I waited in line for hours for a Justice League meeting. Someone needed to bring more coffee. I am all for efficiency. I cannot have my precious time wasted because someone has been waiting in line.

Amex and Chase: The Precedent of Exclusivity

Of course Capital One isn't alone in this. American Express and JPMorgan Chase have already implemented similar measures creating an air of exclusivity that would make even Ra's al Ghul envious. This is starting to feel less like a perk and more like a social hierarchy decided by credit limits and spending habits. Where's the justice in that? It's like saying only people who can afford a diamond plated grappling hook can fight crime.

Harteveldt's Hot Take: An Underdog's Woes

Some 'expert' named Henry Harteveldt calls Capital One a 'challenger brand; they're an underdog.' An underdog with airport lounges in multiple cities? The world has come so far. I bet he also thinks Two Face has a fair shot at winning the lottery. He says these lounges have become 'victims of their own success.' Reminds me of that time the Batmobile became too popular and I had to add extra armor plating to deter souvenir hunters.

The Bigger Picture: Airline Shenanigans

Airlines are also getting in on the act raising prices and building bigger lounges. Delta is unveiling 'Delta One lounges' for the elite of the elite. It's all a bit much isn't it? I preferred things when a simple disguise and a well placed gargoyle were enough to avoid attention. Still I suppose I can't blame them. Everyone wants a piece of the pie even if it means turning the airport into a playground for the financially fortunate. And as always I will be watching to make sure no laws are broken even in the land of overpriced pretzels and questionable cocktails.