Boeing's Got a 'Shrek'-y Situation: Avoiding Jail Time Like I Avoid Onions?

What in the Name of Farquaad is Going On?

Alright alright settle down! Shrek here reporting live from my swamp – which by the way is safer than some of these Boeing planes apparently. Word on the street (or in the swamp I guess) is that Boeing and the Justice Department are close to makin' a deal. And not the kind where Rumpelstiltskin tries to swindle ya outta your happily ever after neither.

346 People Dead... Some Accidents Just Don't Happen!

Now I ain't no lawyer but even I know that when 346 folks take a permanent vacation thanks to your 'misunderstanding' about a flight control system someone's gotta answer for that! But get this: Boeing might just 'shrek' their way outta pleading guilty. Seems a bit like Donkey gettin' away with eatin' all the parfaits don't it?

Judge Judy Ain't Having It

Last summer they tried to pull a fast one but a judge wasn't buying it. She was all like 'Hold on a minute Farquaad! What about diversity equity and inclusion?' And opened up the can of worms of a trial. Good on her! Some things are bigger than corporate hooha.

A Felonious Farce?

See if Boeing gets tagged as a felon it might mess with their defense contractor gig. And trust me these guys are up to their ears in government contracts bigger than my swamp. But the new deal might let them avoid that nasty label. Convenient right? Makes ya wonder who's in whose pocket doesn't it?

Pay Up or Shut Up?

Apparently Boeing might cough up some dough to the families of the victims. I suppose that's better than nothin' but can money really bring back those folks? It's like payin' someone to forget they saw you skinny dippin' in the swamp. It just ain't the same.

So What's the Moral of the Story?

Well folks it seems like in this world even when you mess up royally if you're big enough you can find a way to 'ogre' come it. But remember even ogres have a conscience. Let's hope Boeing figures out how to build planes that are as safe as my swamp is ugly. 'Cause nobody wants a flight that ends up feelin' like a trip to Duloc!