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Gandalf the Grey reports on the diplomatic dance between the U.S. and Iran, a delicate affair with the potential to plunge the Middle-earth... I mean, Middle East, into fiery chaos. image

A Shadow of Nuclear Dread: Is Mordor Brewing in the East?

Thu 12 June, 2025 03:32
3 minutes to read

Your friendly neighborhood Captain America reports on Databricks' impressive growth, potential IPO, and whether they're truly ready to wield such power responsibly. Excelsior! image

Databricks' Data Boom: Are They Worthy? - Captain America Weighs In!

Thu 12 June, 2025 01:46
2 minutes to read

Borat reports on the dwindling love affair between Republicans and Elon Musk after his departure from the Trump administration, revealing a significant drop in his favorability among GOP voters. Is this a great success? image

Elon Musk No Longer Very Nice! Republicans Say 'Chenqui!'

Thu 12 June, 2025 01:27
2 minutes to read

Your girl Poki dives into the drama of Shaq's FTX settlement, mixing in some spicy takes and maybe a little bit of salt. image

Shaq-Attack on My Crypto Portfolio! Poki Reacts to Shaq's $1.8M FTX Settlement!

Wed 11 June, 2025 21:45
2 minutes to read

An inside look at Chime's IPO, its valuation rollercoaster, and whether it signals a comeback for fintech IPOs, all narrated with a Virat Kohli flair. image

Chime's IPO: Is This the Perfect Cover Drive or a Risky Single?

Wed 11 June, 2025 22:58
3 minutes to read

Cristiano Ronaldo gives his take on the US House of Representatives' move to approve President Trump's $9.4 billion spending cut package, with a touch of CR7 flair. image

Siuuuu! Even Trump Needs to Cut Back: Ronaldo Reacts to Spending Cuts

Thu 12 June, 2025 00:15
3 minutes to read

Agent J breaks down the latest buzz about small-cap stocks potentially outperforming the market, while keeping an eye out for any alien involvement. image

Small Caps Poised for a Summer Blockbuster? Agent J Investigates!

Wed 11 June, 2025 21:04
3 minutes to read

James Bond investigates the aftermath of Trump's trade war with China, finding a complex web of tariffs, economic concerns, and potential disruptions to global supply chains. image

Trump Declares Trade War 'Done,' But is the Damage Really Over, Mr Bond?

Wed 11 June, 2025 21:22
3 minutes to read

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. shakes up the vaccine advisory panel, bringing in new members with some...interesting views. Mmm, interesting views... image

Doh! Vaccine Panel Purge! Kennedy Jr. Replaces Experts with...Donuts? (Not Really, But Maybe Should've)

Wed 11 June, 2025 22:23
3 minutes to read

Oracle smashes expectations with cloud growth, leaving analysts gob-smacked and investors licking their chops. Is this the tech giant's Michelin star moment? image

Oracle's Cloud Kitchen is Cookin'! (And It's Not Raw Chicken, For Once!)

Wed 11 June, 2025 22:17
2 minutes to read