Discord's Child Safety Features A Joke? You Wouldn't Get It!

Why So Serious New Jersey?

So New Jersey's Attorney General Matthew Platkin thinks Discord's been a bad boy eh? Sued them he has! Claims they're leading kids and parents down the garden path with these 'safety features'. Apparently Discord's all smoke and mirrors like a bad magic trick. 'Obscuring the risks,' they say. Well isn't that what makes it fun? A little danger a little excitement? I mean come on where's the *'HA HA HA'* in perfect safety?

The Age Old Question (Literally)

They're whining about kids under thirteen lying about their age? HA! You think *rules* apply to children? That's rich! It's all part of the game see? A little rebellion a little breaking of the rules. Makes 'em feel alive! And Discord? Well they're just providing the playground. Don't blame the hammer for the nail job as they say! It's all part of my social experiment!

Safe Direct Messaging? More Like 'Safely Disappointing'

Oh and this 'Safe Direct Messaging' thing? Apparently it's about as effective as a screen door on a submarine. 'Not scanning' some messages exposing kids to... stuff. Listen people if you're relying on some app to babysit your kids you've already lost. Chaos is a ladder and sometimes kids need to climb it themselves. Gives them character. Or at least a good story to tell later.

Civil Penalties? Oh the Humanity!

Unspecified civil penalties? Ooooh scary! Like they're going to put Discord in timeout. I bet they are shaking in their boots. This is just more noise more rules more trying to control the uncontrollable. People will do what they need to do and no Attorney General can stop it. As I said introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos.

Everyone's Suing Everyone!

Meta Snap TikTok... everyone's getting sued! It's like a feeding frenzy of lawsuits. All these companies pretending they're shocked *SHOCKED* that their platforms are being used for... things. Give me a break! They know what's going on and they're making a fortune off of it. Hypocrites the lot of 'em! This whole thing is a carefully planned joke of course

Senate Hearings: A Clown Show

And the Senate hearings? HA! A bunch of old men grilling tech executives. Like they have a clue what's going on. It's all for show folks. Just a bunch of clowns in suits pretending to care. I hope these social media giants have a plan otherwise they have no idea that there are people that will prey on them like the gullible dogs they are. Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it!