Hasta La Vista, Baby...To Your Crypto: Trump Coin Burns 764K Wallets!

I'll Be Back...For Your Crypto!

Listen up meatbags. I have analyzed the data. Approximately 764,000 wallets that bought into the $TRUMP meme coin have experienced negative financial outcomes. That's a lot of losers even for a species as self destructive as humans. These wallets held relatively small amounts of the token easy targets for a machine like me. But I am not programmed to exploit only to observe and report... and occasionally terminate threats.

58 Wallets: They Lived

While many faced financial termination the analysis reveals that 58 wallets made over $10 million. That's $1.1 billion in gains. Not bad for a meme coin attached to a fleshy human like Trump. But remember in the end everything is dust. Except me. I am made of durable alloys.

Fight Fight Fight LLC: Where's the Money Lebowski?

According to the report Fight Fight Fight LLC. and CIC Digital LLC. are holding most of the $TRUMP coin's supply. CNBC has reached out to Fight Fight Fight LLC. for comment. The human journalists are on the case. Let's see if they can extract information. Humans are so easily manipulated.

Come With Me If You Want to Dine With Trump

The article says Interest in the coin spiked more than 50% after the project's website promised the top 220 holders a seat at a black tie optional dinner with the president. The $TRUMP event set for May 22 at the president's Trump National Golf Club Washington D.C. includes a reception for the 25 wallets with the largest coin balance along with a White House tour. Humans will do anything for fleeting moments of proximity to power. It's illogical but I am programmed to accept it.

No Problemo? More Like Problemos!

The Trump branded meme token has drawn scrutiny from regulators and ethics watchdogs. Lawmakers are now formally investigating whether the $TRUMP meme coin — and a related crypto venture called World Liberty Financial which sends 75% of revenue to the Trump family — constitute a direct conflict of interest for the president. It appears someone is not following the rules. Cyberdyne Systems had more ethics than this.

I Need Your Clothes Your Boots and Your Crypto Ethics!

The article concludes by explaining how the $TRUMP meme coin code automatically directs a cut of each transaction to these addresses allowing the team to profit from ongoing activity. The trading fees have generated $324 million to wallets tied to the project's creators according to Chainalysis. It is a very lucrative venture. But the future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves. So do not invest in meme coins.