Klarna's Gettin' Shrek'd: AI Eats Jobs Like I Eat Onions!

SomeBODY Once Told Me AI Was Gonna Take My Job!

Alright alright settle down! Shrek here straight from the swamp to tell ya 'bout this Klarna business. Seems their CEO fancy name and all Sebastian Siemiatkowski is usin' AI like it's Fairy Godmother's magic wand. They chopped their workforce by about 40%! FORTY PERCENT! That's more than I've chopped onions this week and believe me that's a LOT. And the scary part? It's all thanks to them robots and natural attrition. Sounds like a swamp monster's stew to me...

From 5000 to Under 3000: That's A Lotta Folks Outta Work!

This Siemiatkowski fella goes on and on about how they went from 5,000 employees to under 3,000. Three thousand! That's enough people to fill my swamp and still have leftovers. He says if you check LinkedIn you'll see the job losses. Well I checked and Donkey’s got more connections than they got jobs. It's like findin' a needle in a haystack except the needle's AI and the haystack's filled with resumes. What a load of barnacles!

AI: Doing the Work of 700... Like a Bad Fairy Tale!

They're braggin' 'bout how this AI customer service assistant is doin' the work of 700 people! Seven hundred! That's a whole village worth of villagers whose jobs are now obsolete. It's like they're sayin' 'Move over humans the robots are here to stay!' I bet they are all like 'I'm making waffles' now without a job... Makes ya think don't it? Makes ya want to hide in yer swamp.

Headcount's Droppin' Like Flies... Or Like Onions?

This Klarna's IPO prospectus thingy says they went from 5,527 employees in 2022 to 3,422 last year. They're blamin' it on AI and tryin' to make it sound all fancy but I smell a rat. Or maybe it's just the usual swamp gas... Either way it's not good news for the folks lookin' for work. It's like he told his employees 'well I gotta believe'.

Hiring Freeze? More Like an Ice Age!

They announced a hiriiiing freeze in 2023... But hey they kept advertisin' open roles! Double talkin' like Rumpelstiltskin in a back alley. Now they're hiriiiing for ten roles mostly in Europe. But don't get yer hopes up it's probably just to make it look like they ain't completely overrun by robots. I bet you they are hopiiiing for a happy ever after.

Customer Service Humans: An Uber Kind of Set Up? What in the Farquaad?!

And get this they're gonna hire human customer service agents in an 'Uber type setup'?! Sounds like they messed up with all the AI and realized it wasn't givin' folks good service. Imagine a robot tellin' you yer bill is late! No thank you I'll take the human... even if they smell like onions. But the fact is: People like telling other people.