OMG! Oracle's Hospital Glitch: Is This My Life?

Wait What Just Happened?

Okay so like I was scrolling through my feed (as one does) when I saw this article about Oracle messing up big time at some hospitals. Apparently their engineers *accidentally* deleted some important stuff and a bunch of Community Health Systems hospitals had to go back to using like actual paper. Paper! In 2024! Is this my life? It’s giving major 'low budget' vibes and you know I'm all about that high end lifestyle so this def isn't my aesthetic.

45 Hospitals?! That's Literally Insane!

So get this Becker's Hospital Review (whoever *they* are) says that like 45 hospitals were affected. Forty five! That's more than the number of lip kits I've launched! The outage lasted for five days! Imagine like waiting five days for your Kylie Cosmetics order. I'm just saying it would never happen. This is some serious 'rise and shine' levels of chaos.

Downtime Procedures? Sounds Boring!

Apparently these hospitals had to activate 'downtime procedures'. Which sounds like a super boring way of saying 'we're going old school'. Thank goodness it wasn’t a cyberattack or something. Can you imagine if someone hacked my Kylie Cosmetics account? I'd have to change my number and then who would I be? This is why you need to have security like Jordyn protect your girls.

Oracle Honey What's Good?

Oracle bought Cerner the EHR vendor for a cool $28.3 billion back in 2022. You'd think they'd have their act together by now. Like you spend that much money and then you accidentally delete stuff? Is this a joke? They didn't even respond to CNBC's request for comment. Very unprofessional! But I do give the clinical teams at the hospital professionalism and commitment is a big thing. And don't ever forget that!

No Material Impact? Doubt It.

The CHS spokesperson said there was 'no material impact'. Okay but like switching to paper records for five days? I'm pretty sure *someone* was stressed. I bet there was a lot of 'I have to pee' moments in the nurse station. I feel for them; that’s like losing your phone for a week.

Come On Oracle Get It Together!

Honestly this whole situation is just… tragic. Oracle needs to get their act together especially since they're also having issues with the Department of Veterans Affairs. Like get it together or I'm gonna have to start my own tech company! I’ll call it “KylieTech” and it'll be so good everyone will want to work for me… even Kim.