Wake Me When the Quantum Singularity Happens: Master Chief on Nvidia's Quantum Leap

Quantum Schm quantum What is It?

Alright Spartans listen up. Heard some chatter about… quantum computing. Seems Nvidia's head honcho Jensen Huang is getting all fired up about these machines that use 'quantum mechanics.' If I understand this right it's like trying to kill the Flood with a plasma pistol instead of a rocket launcher – complicated but potentially devastating. Apparently they use 'qubits,' whatever those are to crunch data faster than I can say 'Cortana translate Forerunner.' Someone tell me why we couldn't have had this tech back on Installation 04? Would've saved us a whole lot of trouble.

Follow the Money (and Maybe Some Sentinels)

So apparently these quantum companies like Rigetti and IonQ are making bank. One of them even bought another for a cool $1.1 billion. Makes me wonder if I could invest my UNSC pension in this quantum craze. Maybe I'll ask Cortana. Oh wait... Anyway Huang seems pretty impressed with the quantum scene in Europe. Met some folks from a French startup called Pasqal. Wonder if they have a good croissant recipe too 'cause I'm always up for a challenge.

Is This the Weapon We Needed?

Huang claims we're close to using quantum computers to solve 'interesting problems.' Interesting like say stopping the Covenant before they glass another planet? Or maybe unlocking the secrets of the Domain without unleashing another Composer? He thinks this is an 'exciting time.' I'll reserve my excitement until I see a quantum computer take down a Scarab with a single line of code. Then and only then will I be impressed.

He Said She Said the Quantum Flip Flop

Now here's where it gets interesting. Turns out Huang wasn't always this gung ho about quantum. He used to think we were decades away from useful quantum computers. His old comments apparently sent these quantum stocks into a nosedive faster than a Banshee with a plasma grenade up its tailpipe. Now he's backpedaling saying his words came out wrong. Reminds me of that time I told Miranda Keyes I was 'glad to see her' right before she got vaporized by the Prophet of Truth. Timing is everything I guess.

Even Google's in on It (Probably to Sell More Ads)

Google's also jumping on the quantum bandwagon with their new 'Willow' chip. Apparently it's a big step in 'error correction.' I'm guessing that means it's less likely to accidentally delete all your cat videos while trying to calculate the trajectory of a plasma bolt. Still if Google can make quantum computers maybe they can finally fix YouTube's algorithm. Now that would be a true breakthrough.

Wake Me When We Get a Quantum Cortana

Look I'm not a scientist but I know a threat when I see one. If these quantum computers can really solve problems great. But if they end up like the Sentinels – more trouble than they're worth – then count me out. Until I see a quantum AI that can outsmart the Gravemind I'll stick with my trusty Assault Rifle and a good dose of UNSC grit. Wake me when the singularity happens Spartans. I'll be in cryo... unless the Flood shows up. Then it's game on. Hoo ah!