Trump Nukes Chip Rule: Nvidia Stock Soars Higher Than a Neuralyzer Flash!

Incoming Transmission: The Situation Report

Alright people Agent J here. Word on the street – or you know the internet – is that things are gettin' weirder than a pug in a Bugatti. Seems the Trump crew is about to pull a fast one and ditch this 'AI diffusion' rule the one that was supposed to control where our fancy AI chips go. Now this rule was all set to drop like a bad hip hop beat on May 15th. Supposedly this AI thingy had tiers and restrictions. Like some kinda alien karaoke contest but with semiconductors. Personally I think half these rules are made up on the fly like Kay's excuses for bein' late to work.

Nvidia's Stock: Blast Off!

So what happens when the Man in Orange hints at scrapin' the rule? Nvidia's stock goes straight to the moon baby! Higher than Will Smith's career after the first MIB movie. Makes sense right? Less red tape more moolah for the big guys. They are already making too much. What's next? I don't know but I hope it does involve me and my ray gun.

The Big Dogs Bark Back

Now Nvidia ain't sayin' nothin' official. Smart move. But AMD's CEO Lisa Su she's out there droppin' truth bombs like she's got a Neuralyzer full of wisdom. She's sayin' we gotta find a balance. Protect our national security sure but also let the chip industry do its thing and make us all rich. Sounds reasonable right? Maybe she should run for President. Or just be my partner.

Jensen Huang's 'Tremendous Loss': Talk About An Understatement

And Nvidia's top dog Jensen Huang? He's been cryin' foul about being locked out of the Chinese AI market. Calls it a "tremendous loss." I'm thinkin' that's a bit of an understatement. Try losing your memory to a Neuralyzer *that's* a tremendous loss. But hey money talks and apparently China's got a lot to say.

The Fine Print: Hidden Agendas?

So is this a win for American business? A strategic chess move against… well whoever we're playin' chess against these days? Or just another example of politicians playin' games with our future? Hard to say. But one thing's for sure: things are never as simple as they seem. Just like that time I thought I was buying a hot dog but it turned out to be an alien larva in a bun. Lesson learned: always read the fine print.

Stay Tuned Earthlings

This story is still developing faster than my tolerance for paperwork. So keep your eyes peeled your ears open and your Neuralyzers charged. Agent J out.