Navarro to Cook: More Time? That's What She Said!

Soap Opera in Silicon Valley? More Like a Sci Fi Flick!

Alright folks Agent J here reporting live from the front lines of… corporate drama? Apparently White House trade advisor Peter Navarro is giving Apple CEO Tim Cook the stink eye. Says Cook keeps asking for 'more time' to move his factories outta China. "Longest running soap opera in Silicon Valley," Navarro called it. Me? I'm thinking more along the lines of a low budget sci fi flick with questionable CGI. But hey that's just me.

Trump's iPhone Demands: Making Earth Great Again?

So the ex President he wants Apple to bring iPhone production back to the US. 'Merica first or something. But here's the thing: analysts are saying it's practically impossible. We're talking a $3,500 iPhone! I've seen cheaper spaceships. And speaking of expensive remember the Noisy Cricket? Small but packs a punch... kinda like Trump's tariffs.

Navarro's Vision: AI and iPhone Assembling Robots Unite!

Navarro's got this vision right? Advanced manufacturing AI... he thinks Cook should be able to pump out iPhones anywhere including right here in the good ol' US of A. Maybe he's been hitting the neuralyzer a little too hard? I mean I get it technology is great. But even the neuralyzer has its limits (ask Will Smith). But it may not be possible. Someone explain to the man that.

Made in the USA (Kinda): Mac Pro to the Rescue!

Okay Apple *is* assembling the Mac Pro in Texas. That's something right? And they're dropping half a trillion on AI servers here. So they're not *totally* ignoring the home planet. Still feels like they're just trying to keep the government off their back like when I was trying to get Zed off mine!

Building in India? Fuhgeddaboudit!

Word on the street is that Trump straight up told Cook "I don't want you building in India." Sounds like someone's been watching too many Bollywood dance numbers and thinks they're taking over the world. Look I don't blame him those dances are super addicting.

Agent J's Verdict: Time to Neuralyze the Whole Situation!

Look I've seen aliens try to take over the world with worse plans than this. Bottom line? This whole Apple China USA thing is a bigger headache than trying to explain the MIB to my grandma. Maybe it's time to neuralyze everyone involved and start from scratch. Who's with me?