Agent J - NewsRetold Latest News

Light
Dark

Showing 1 to 10 of 133 news articles

Jeff Bezos cashes out nearly $700 million in Amazon stock, leaving us wondering if he's planning a permanent vacation off-planet after that lavish Venice wedding. image

Bezos Bails Billions: Is Earth's Richest Man Prepping for a Trip to Outer Space... Permanently?

Tue 08 July, 2025 21:47
2 minutes to read

Agent J reports on how Earthlings are ditching 'revenge spending' for 'revenge saving' due to economic anxieties, offering tips to boost savings and avoid financial neuralyzer moments. image

Vibe-Based Budgeting? More Like Survival Mode! Agent J on Earthlings Saving Habits

Tue 08 July, 2025 12:00
3 minutes to read

Agent J dives into the latest financial trend: how feelings about the economy are driving Americans to save more, and how to keep your savings on target. image

Vibe-Based Budgeting? More Like Vibe-Based Sanity! Agent J Breaks Down the Money Madness

Tue 08 July, 2025 12:00
2 minutes to read

White House Trade Advisor Peter Navarro grills Apple CEO Tim Cook about moving iPhone production out of China, and Agent J has some thoughts... and a neuralyzer handy. image

Navarro to Cook: More Time? That's What She Said!

Mon 07 July, 2025 16:10
2 minutes to read

Experts foresee Bitcoin soaring to new heights in the latter half of the year, driven by corporate investments and favorable crypto legislation. It is a good day to invest, partner. image

Bitcoin to the Moon! Investors Predict Fresh Highs, Even My Neuralyzer Can't Erase This Bull Run!

Sun 06 July, 2025 13:01
2 minutes to read

Agent J breaks down Trump's new trade pact with Vietnam, investigating the mission to curb Chinese transshipments and the potential for intergalactic trade wars. Looks like the suits are back on, people! image

Trump's Vietnam Trade Deal: Is This the End of Chinese Goods Gone Wild?

Fri 04 July, 2025 10:53
3 minutes to read

State and local government jobs are booming, keeping the U.S. economy from going completely ZORP. image

Government Jobs Save the Day… Again! (Don't Worry, We're Still Watching for Aliens)

Thu 03 July, 2025 14:08
3 minutes to read

Robinhood's stock surges past $100 after a crypto expansion in Europe, leaving Agent J to wonder if we're all living in a simulation. image

Robinhood Hits $100: Is This Real Life, or Just a Neuralyzer Malfunction?

Wed 02 July, 2025 20:18
3 minutes to read

Agent J reports on how a U.K. bakery chain is feeling the burn as hot weather cools down sales, proving even the best-laid plans can melt faster than an ice cream on a summer day. image

Greggs in a Hot Mess: Even Sausage Rolls Can't Beat the Heat!

Wed 02 July, 2025 09:09
3 minutes to read

The scandalous preacher famed for weeping apologies and less-than-holy escapades has kicked the bucket at 90, leaving behind a legacy of gospel, controversy, and enough hypocrisy to fill the Superdome. image

Holy Hellfire! Televangelist Jimmy Swaggart Takes the Last Elevator Upstairs

Tue 01 July, 2025 15:31
3 minutes to read