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Showing 1 to 10 of 23 news articles

Despite trade tensions, Chinese tea chain Chagee makes a splash on the Nasdaq, with plans for U.S. expansion. Agent J investigates the alien… err, innovative… beverage. image

Holy Chalupa Batman! Chinese Tea Chain Chagee Invades Wall Street, Next Stop Earth!?

Thu 17 April, 2025 20:39
3 minutes to read

UnitedHealth Group's stock took a nosedive after a profit forecast cut, raising alarms about Medicare Advantage plans and leaving Wall Street analysts sweating like a perp in MIB headquarters. image

UnitedHealth Group Stock Plummets! Are Your Medicare Advantage Plans About to Explode?!

Thu 17 April, 2025 15:18
3 minutes to read

Agent J reports on Ford's potential price hikes due to Trump's tariffs, blending MIB humor with the serious business of keeping Earth's economy (and style) in check. image

Ford Prices About to Skyrocket! Are You Ready for This?!

Wed 16 April, 2025 21:32
3 minutes to read

Agent J breaks down the national average credit score decline, rising debt, and the return of student loan delinquency reporting, all while keeping it real and maybe dodging a few aliens. image

Credit Scores Dropping Like Neuralyzers at a Roach Party! Are You Next?!

Wed 16 April, 2025 12:34
3 minutes to read

Agent J breaks down the possibility of sending American criminals to foreign prisons, Trump-style. Spoiler alert: it's weirder than a talking pug. image

Trump to Beam Bad Guys to Alien Prisons?! Is Earth Ready for This?!

Tue 15 April, 2025 18:37
2 minutes to read

Bank of America and Citigroup soar while Boeing and Albertsons face turbulence in the stock market. Is this just business or something more? image

Earth Stocks Take a Wild Ride! Are Aliens Messing With the Market?

Tue 15 April, 2025 12:25
2 minutes to read

Goldman Sachs analyst suggests ESG investors should reconsider their stance on oil and gas companies amidst the energy transition, sparking debate and dissent among experts. image

ESG Investors Going Crazy?! Are Oil and Gas Companies Secretly Good Guys?!

Mon 14 April, 2025 05:16
3 minutes to read

Activist investors D.E. Shaw and Third Point shake things up at CoStar Group, leading to board changes and a focus on better capital allocation. But will this corporate shakeup really pay off? image

CoStar Gets a Makeover! Will It Make Them Shine Brighter Than a Neuralyzer?

Sat 12 April, 2025 11:51
4 minutes to read

A hilarious, albeit terrifying, look at how Trump's proposed pharmaceutical tariffs could turn your medicine cabinet into a luxury penthouse. image

Trump's Drug Tariff Tango! Will Your Wallet Survive?!

Fri 11 April, 2025 15:40
3 minutes to read

Danish shoppers are protesting President Trump's trade policies and Greenland ambitions by boycotting American products, a trend mirrored in other parts of Europe and Canada. image

Danish Fury! Are Trump's Tariffs Sending American Products to Another Galaxy?!

Fri 11 April, 2025 05:08
3 minutes to read