Good News Everyone! Dubai Chocolate Craze Sweeps the Planet!

A Chocolatey Conception

Good news everyone! I've just received word about a newfangled chocolate trend sweeping the globe. Apparently it all started when some lady in Dubai had a craving during her pregnancy. I remember when I had cravings... for dark matter ice cream! Anyway this craving led to the creation of something called 'Dubai chocolate,' which sounds suspiciously like something Zoidberg would try to eat.

Viral Velocity

This Dubai chocolate filled with pistachio cream kadayif and tahini – ingredients I usually reserve for my experimental brain enhancing concoctions – became a viral sensation! Suddenly everyone wanted a piece or rather an entire chocolate bar. Orders went from one a week to fifteen! 'How is this happening?' she exclaimed. I know the feeling! It's like when I invented Smell O Scope everyone wanted one!

The Duty Free Goldmine

These bars are only available in Dubai except for when they periodically appear at the Dubai International Airport's Duty Free shop. They sold 1.2 million bars in April alone racking in $22 million! That's enough to buy a lifetime supply of Bachelor Chow! It appears that the United Arab Emirates doesn't have an international trademark treaty which means the floodgates are now open for imitations and spinoffs... Sweet Zombie Jesus!

Big Chocolate Gets Involved

Lindt the big chocolate company developed a new permanent Dubai chocolate recipe in response to overwhelming demand. These chocolate companies are on it faster than Hermes Conrad can file a bureaucratical form! And the imitations! Oh the imitations! It's like when I created the Fing Longer only for Applied Cryogenics to make it longer and shaped like a... well never mind.

Fast Food Frenzy

Shake Shack launched a limited edition milkshake and Crumbl is working on a brownie spinoff. Even Starbucks got in on the action by promoting a customer's idea for a Dubai chocolate inspired drink. Baskin Robbins and Dunkin' are launching desserts in other countries. It's a madhouse! A complete and utter madhouse of culinary capitalism and to that I say... WOOO!

Trend Spotting and the Future

Trader Joe's bless their cheap chocolate loving hearts has launched what is perhaps the cheapest Dubai chocolate dupe. And the food service consulting firm Technomic confirmed that chocolate pistachio flavor combos on restaurant menus are up by 22.3%. I'd say this trend has got more legs than a bucket of chicken! But will this Dubai chocolate madness last? Only time and perhaps my Smell O Scope will tell! Until then I'm off to invent a chocolate bar that will make everyone forget Dubai chocolate even existed! Why not? I'm already 177 years old. What's the worst that could happen? To shreds you say?