Even With Global Chaos, Luxury Still Sells! (Try Keeping Up, Commoners)

Cha Ching! Richemont Laughs in the Face of Your 'Recession'

Alright people listen up! Your friendly neighborhood Iron Man here reporting live from the front lines of... well wealth. Word on the street – or rather from Richemont the folks who own Cartier and a bunch of other shiny things – is that they're doing just fine. Turns out when the world's going to pot the one percent just buy more sparkly distractions. Sales jumped 7%! I’m telling you it’s like my bank account after a particularly lucrative weapons deal... I mean philanthropic endeavor. Yeah that's it!

Cartier and Co: The Real MVPs (Most Valuable Precious stones)

So who's leading this charge of the Light Brigade...of Bling? Cartier Van Cleef & Arpels Buccellati – the usual suspects. Their 'Jewellery Maisons' division is seeing double digit growth. Clearly diamonds are *still* a girl's best friend and apparently a stressed billionaire's too. Me? I prefer my suits with a side of arc reactor but hey to each their own.

Time Keeps on Slipping Slipping Slipping...Unless It's a Piaget

Not everyone's popping bottles though. Their 'specialist watchmakers' – brands like Piaget and Roger Dubuis – are lagging behind especially in Asia. Guess even the ultra rich have a budget...or maybe they just can't decide which multi million dollar timepiece to pair with their solid gold yacht. Tough choices I tell ya! As for me I'll stick with the time readout on my HUD. More practical less...ostentatious.

Asia Pacific: A Hiccup Not a Hangover (Yet)

Speaking of Asia sales are down there particularly in China. A 23% drop! Could be a blip could be a sign of things to come. Either way Johann Rupert Richemont's chairman is preaching 'agility and discipline'. Sounds a bit like what I tell myself before facing off against a supervillain. Always be prepared even if you're just selling overpriced wrist candy.

Gold Prices Tariffs and Weak Dollars Oh My!

BofA Global Research (whoever *they* are) is warning about headwinds: gold prices U.S. tariffs and foreign exchange fluctuations. Sounds complicated. Luckily I mostly deal in palladium alloys and raw unadulterated genius. But apparently Richemont's got 'pricing power'. Which means they can just jack up the prices and we'll all pay it anyway. Because who are we kidding? We all want a little bit of that Tony Stark lifestyle.

The Future is Still Shiny (Probably)

So what's the takeaway? The rich are different. They have more money obviously and they're apparently immune to economic downturns. Richemont had its 'highest ever' sales quarter recently so don't expect them to start slashing prices anytime soon. Me? I’m gonna go tinker with my suit and think of new ways to save the world. And maybe buy a solid gold wrench. For…reasons.