Kroger's Profits Rise! The Force Is Strong With Discount Groceries

A Surprise To Be Sure But A Welcome One!

As I Force choked another incompetent admiral today I stumbled upon news of...Kroger. Yes the purveyor of consumables for the masses. It seems their stock has risen a paltry 9% but notable nonetheless. They claim to be attracting beings seeking 'lower priced store brands and cheaper alternatives to dining out.' Dining out? A Jedi craves not such frivolous activities! Only power!

Impressive. Most Impressive.

Their projections indicate a sales increase of 2.25% to 3.25%. A minuscule figure compared to the might of the Empire but significant in the context of this...grocery business. They seem to have cracked the code to lure beings into their establishments to buy more product and that is certainly something that can be considered successful.

Disturbances in the Force... and the Boardroom

However even this mundane tale has its dark side. A failed acquisition of Albertsons...a CEO departure shrouded in mystery. Such corporate drama is beneath me yet I cannot ignore the parallels to the treachery within the Senate! The struggle for control is eternal whether in a galaxy far far away or at a supermarket chain in Cincinnati.

These Aren't the Tariffs You're Looking For

They prattle on about tariffs impacting their fruit vegetables and... flowers? Such trivialities! I deal with the logistics of starship construction and planetary subjugation. Yet it seems even a slight tax on a tomato can send ripples through their little world. Apparently if there are tariffs they will avoid price increases for their customer which sounds like an easy thing to do right? Why is everyone always complaining!

E Commerce? More Like E Inconvenience!

Kroger is focusing on their E Commerce which for them consists of curbside pickups and deliveries... which is apparently not yet profitable! I would advise them to consider taking a look at Amazon to see how it is done and stop wasting time on failed projects. Perhaps they should streamline their operations modernize their approach and force these logistics into compliance. Lack of profitability is UNACCEPTABLE!

The Circle Is Now Complete

In conclusion Kroger's success hinges on appealing to the masses with cheaper alternatives. Closing failing stores opening ones that can be successful continuing to look for a CEO. Like the Force they must adapt to survive. Perhaps these simple grocery mongers will manage to carve out their own small corner of the galaxy. The Force is strong with the discount shoppers!