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Professor Farnsworth analyzes Britain's spending spree, potential debt doom, and possible solutions—all while reminiscing about Slurm Loco. image

Good News Everyone! UK Economy Faces Fiscal Fuzziness, Gilt Yields Gone Wild!

Thu 12 June, 2025 14:14
3 minutes to read

Shaquille O'Neal settles for $1.8 million over FTX endorsements, proving even giants can make a 'wong' turn. image

Good News Everyone! Shaq O'Neal Pays Up in FTX Crypto Calamity!

Wed 11 June, 2025 21:45
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes Jeffrey Gundlach's forecast on international stocks outperforming U.S. equities due to the dollar's decline, with a dash of Futurama-style wit and wisdom. image

Good News Everyone! Professor Farnsworth Predicts Global Stock Boom (and the Dollar's Doom!)

Tue 10 June, 2025 22:04
3 minutes to read

Dave's Hot Chicken CEO, Bill Phelps, shares the secret sauce to employee happiness: cold hard cash! image

Good News Everyone! Hot Chicken Chain Makes 19 Millionaires, CEO Says 'To Hell With The Investors!'

Tue 10 June, 2025 13:00
3 minutes to read

President Trump and California Governor Newsom are locked in a battle over the deployment of the National Guard, leading to lawsuits and accusations of authoritarianism. Oh, the humanity! image

Good News Everyone! Trump vs. Newsom: A Legal Spat of Unpresidented Proportions!

Mon 09 June, 2025 21:35
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes Chipotle's attempt to revive flagging sales with a spicy new Adobo Ranch, questioning if it's a stroke of genius or a recipe for disaster. image

Good News Everyone! Chipotle's New Ranch: A Potential Sales Savior or Just Another Doomsday Device?

Mon 09 June, 2025 12:09
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes MP Materials' potential to capitalize on geopolitical tensions and domestic demand for rare earth minerals, with a healthy dose of skepticism and doomsday predictions. image

Good News Everyone! U.S. Rare Earths Poised for a Comeback (Maybe?)

Sat 07 June, 2025 12:15
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on the looming rare earth shortage crisis facing the automotive industry due to China's export controls, potentially leading to production halts and automotive mayhem. image

Great News Everyone! China's Rare Earth Grip Threatens Automotive Armageddon!

Thu 05 June, 2025 05:36
3 minutes to read

A fertility clinic bombing was aided by AI, proving even robots can have questionable motives. Oh, the humanity! image

Good News Everyone! AI-Powered Bomb Plots are the Future (Probably Dangerous)

Wed 04 June, 2025 23:38
3 minutes to read

Global confectionery giants and humble startups alike are scrambling to cash in on the Dubai chocolate trend, resulting in a flurry of limited-edition products and inspired spin-offs. image

Good News Everyone! Dubai Chocolate Craze Sweeps the Planet!

Sat 31 May, 2025 12:00
2 minutes to read