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Showing 41 to 50 of 89 news articles

OPEC+ nations agree to accelerate oil production increases for June, adding 411,000 barrels per day, while internal squabbles and global economics still threaten to send gas prices spiraling into the stratosphere! image

Good News Everyone! OPEC+ Speeds Up Oil Output, But Will It Save Us From $1000-a-gallon Gasoline?

Sat 03 May, 2025 11:22
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth Explains How Even Freelancers Can Snag a Home Loan (Without Inventing a Doomsday Device...Probably). image

Good News Everyone! Self-Employed Mortgages Aren't Doomed (Yet)!

Thu 01 May, 2025 19:48
3 minutes to read

Apple's latest earnings report reveals a mixed bag: iPhone sales beat expectations, China held steady, but a minor service revenue miss sent the stock tumbling faster than Nibbler falling into a dark matter infested toilet. image

Good News Everyone! Apple Sort Of Did Okay (But Don't Get Your Hopes Up)

Fri 02 May, 2025 00:43
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on the scandalous dismissal of Kohl's CEO, Ashley Buchanan, for engaging in a 'highly unusual' relationship with a vendor, and the company's subsequent rebound. image

Good News Everyone! Kohl's CEO Fired for Romantic Entanglements!

Thu 01 May, 2025 17:24
3 minutes to read

President Trump's pro-crypto stance in his second term is reshaping the regulatory landscape, leaving the industry feeling optimistic despite broader approval ratings. image

Good News Everyone! Trump's Crypto Policies Turn Washington Upside Down!

Thu 01 May, 2025 11:00
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on how Trump's trade policies are causing online retailers to cut back on Facebook and Instagram ads, impacting Meta's revenue and Reality Labs unit. image

Great News Everyone! Trump's Tariffs Cause Meta Meltdown!

Wed 30 April, 2025 23:51
3 minutes to read

Despite looming tariffs, Samsung's Q1 earnings soar thanks to chip sales, proving that even the universe can't resist a good gadget. image

Good News Everyone! Samsung Defies Trump's Tariffs, Rakes in the Space Cash!

Wed 30 April, 2025 00:23
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes Britain's new crypto legislation, pondering if it's progress or just another doomsday device in disguise. image

Good News Everyone! UK Drafts Crypto Laws, Aims for World Domination (Maybe)

Tue 29 April, 2025 16:02
2 minutes to read

The Trump administration is easing automotive tariffs, a move welcomed by automakers who were previously screaming louder than a what-if scenario! image

Good News Everyone! Trump Backpedals on Auto Tariffs (Slightly)!

Tue 29 April, 2025 09:49
3 minutes to read

A man, allegedly an illegal immigrant from Chile, is charged with stealing Kristi Noem's purse and using her credit cards. He claims alcohol-induced memory loss. Oh my yes! image

Good News Everyone! Chilean Thief Steals Purse from Homeland Security Secretary, Claims Alcohol Amnesia!

Mon 28 April, 2025 20:10
3 minutes to read