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Showing 31 to 40 of 89 news articles

Walgreens deploys micro-fulfillment centers with robots to streamline prescription filling, aiming to boost efficiency and free up pharmacists for patient care. A bold move towards the future, or just another doomsday device? image

Good News Everyone! Walgreens Unleashes Robot Army to Fill Your Pills!

Sun 11 May, 2025 12:00
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on ESPN's shocking decision to name their new all-access streaming service 'ESPN,' a move so bold it's almost…stupid? image

Good News Everyone! ESPN Rebrands Streaming Service as... ESPN!

Fri 09 May, 2025 17:10
2 minutes to read

Major retailers like Pandora, Puma, and Hugo Boss are reevaluating pricing and supply chains amidst Trump's proposed tariffs, while Professor Farnsworth ponders the implications for the future of affordable jewelry and comfy shoes. image

Good News Everyone! Global Brands Panic Over Trump's Tariff Tantrums!

Fri 09 May, 2025 10:54
3 minutes to read

Elizabeth Holmes' last-ditch effort for an appeal rehearing fails, leaving the Supreme Court as her only hope to avoid prison for Theranos fraud. image

Good News Everyone! Holmes' Appeal Rejected Again!

Thu 08 May, 2025 18:25
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes Wall Street's recent upgrades, downgrades, and reiterations, with a sprinkle of doomsday devices and a dash of 'what-ifs'. image

Good News Everyone! Wall Street's Wild Ride Through Stocks and Flavors!

Thu 08 May, 2025 12:22
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes Trump's offer to intervene in the escalating tensions between India and Pakistan, a situation that's been brewing longer than my latest batch of Slurm. image

Good News Everyone! Trump Offers to Meddle in India-Pakistan Spat!

Wed 07 May, 2025 20:30
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes how tariffs are making your shiny new Ford more expensive, faster than you can say 'Wha? image

Good News Everyone! Ford Hikes Prices Thanks to Trump's Tariff Tantrum!

Wed 07 May, 2025 12:58
2 minutes to read

AMD reports better-than-expected earnings, navigates AI chip export regulations, and looks to the future with cautious optimism. image

Good News Everyone! AMD Dodges Export Controls With Profits!

Tue 06 May, 2025 22:02
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes Warren Buffett's retirement and investment strategies, filled with castle moats, intrinsic value, and the occasional fool. image

Good News Everyone! Buffett Retires, Moats, and Foolproof Investments!

Tue 06 May, 2025 13:05
3 minutes to read

President Trump claims economic highs while conveniently attributing any lows to his predecessor. Tariffs, apparently, are the key to untold riches. Oh, and kids don't need that many dolls. image

Good News Everyone! Trump Takes Credit (and Blames Biden, Naturally)

Sun 04 May, 2025 14:05
2 minutes to read