Good News Everyone! Streaming TV Officially More Popular Than Broadcast and Cable (Like We Didn't See That Coming)

A Future We Predicted Years Ago!

Good news everyone! It seems my calculations were as always impeccably accurate. This Nielsen report confirms what I've been saying for years: streaming is the future! Those dusty old broadcast and cable dinosaurs are finally being overshadowed. Streaming now accounts for a whopping 44.8% of total TV viewership surpassing the combined share of broadcast and cable. To quote myself 'Nobody exists on purpose nobody belongs anywhere everybody's gonna die'...except streaming apparently!

Four Years of Decline: A Slow and Painful Demise

Compared to a mere four years ago streaming has skyrocketed by 71%! Meanwhile broadcast and cable are plummeting faster than Leela on a bad hovercraft. Broadcast has declined by 21% and cable? A catastrophic 39%! It's like watching the Earth slowly drift into the sun...except more entertaining because at least we have Netflix.

Blame it on the FAST Channels YouTube and Corporate Meddling

Brian Fuhrer from Nielsen claims this surge is due to free ad supported streaming TV (FAST) channels the unstoppable force that is YouTube and the desperate scrambling of old media companies trying to stay relevant. It’s like watching Zoidberg trying to impress a potential mate – pathetic yet somehow compelling.

YouTube: The Streaming Juggernaut!

YouTube that bastion of cat videos and conspiracy theories now represents 12.5% of all television viewing! A 120% climb since 2021? Unbelievable! They're like the Planet Express of the internet – always delivering something even if it's occasionally terrible. 'I don't want to live on this planet anymore,'...but I'll still watch YouTube on it.

Traditional Media Embraces the Inevitable (Sort Of)

Even traditional media companies are reluctantly admitting defeat and jumping on the streaming bandwagon. Disney is creating content for YouTube and the Super Bowl is airing on both Fox and Tubi. It's a desperate attempt to stay afloat in a sea of streaming sharks. But I say good riddance! Let the old ways die paving the way for… even newer more confusing ways!

Netflix: The Reigning King of Subscription Streaming

And of course there's Netflix the undisputed champion of paid subscription services. A 27% viewing gain in four years! It's like they've invented a device that allows you to dream other people's dreams… wait a minute! I think I had that idea once! Blast it all! 'To shreds you say?' Yes that's what I said to my chances of being a streaming billionaire.