Good News Everyone! Streaming Finally Vaporizes Cable TV!

The End is Nigh (for Cable)

Good news everyone! It appears that the archaic technology we call 'cable television' is finally succumbing to the sweet embrace of oblivion. A recent Nielsen report indicates that streaming services have surpassed the combined viewership of broadcast and cable TV for the first time ever! This is a momentous occasion like the invention of the Smell O Scope only slightly less smelly. As I always say 'I don't want to live on this planet anymore' and now I don't have to because I can simply stream TV from another planet!

Numbers Don't Lie (Much)

According to the report streaming now accounts for a whopping 44.8% of total TV viewership while broadcast and cable are gasping for air at a measly 44.2%. Back in my day we only had broadcast television and we LIKED it! We watched shows in black and white uphill both ways! But these young whippersnappers and their 'streaming' are really taking over. The increase is up 71% from 4 years ago which is just incredible if you are into that sort of thing.

YouTube You Go(ogle)!

YouTube is the main player here and have been on top for a while now with a 120% increase since 2021. Incredible numbers so incredible that it makes me want to play the Holophonor!

FAST and Furious

Brian Fuhrer of Nielsen claims this streaming surge is fueled by free ad supported streaming TV (FAST) channels the rise of YouTube and traditional media companies desperately trying to stay relevant. It's like watching Zoidberg try to understand human emotions – pathetic yet strangely compelling! He notes that free channels like Pluto TV Roku Channel and Tubi are a major factor. Who knew people loved free stuff? Next they will be trying to give away free DOOM!

The Rise of the Streamers

In May 2021 only five streaming platforms exceeded 1% of total TV viewership. Now ELEVEN have crossed that threshold! It's a veritable streaming stampede! Meanwhile traditional media companies scramble to adapt like a Professor trying to understand how to use the internet. And the Super Bowl was on Tubi? What is the world coming to?!

Netflix and Chill (Until the Heat Death of the Universe)

Netflix has emerged as the dominant paid subscription service with a 27% viewing gain over the past four years. Eventually streaming will be the only way to watch TV and we'll all be forced to binge watch 'All My Circuits' until the heat death of the universe! Now if you will excuse me I must go invent a device that can predict the exact moment cable TV becomes completely obsolete. To the lab!