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Showing 91 to 100 of 137 news articles

Apple's latest earnings report reveals a mixed bag: iPhone sales beat expectations, China held steady, but a minor service revenue miss sent the stock tumbling faster than Nibbler falling into a dark matter infested toilet. image

Good News Everyone! Apple Sort Of Did Okay (But Don't Get Your Hopes Up)

Fri 02 May, 2025 00:43
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on the scandalous dismissal of Kohl's CEO, Ashley Buchanan, for engaging in a 'highly unusual' relationship with a vendor, and the company's subsequent rebound. image

Good News Everyone! Kohl's CEO Fired for Romantic Entanglements!

Thu 01 May, 2025 17:24
3 minutes to read

President Trump's pro-crypto stance in his second term is reshaping the regulatory landscape, leaving the industry feeling optimistic despite broader approval ratings. image

Good News Everyone! Trump's Crypto Policies Turn Washington Upside Down!

Thu 01 May, 2025 11:00
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on how Trump's trade policies are causing online retailers to cut back on Facebook and Instagram ads, impacting Meta's revenue and Reality Labs unit. image

Great News Everyone! Trump's Tariffs Cause Meta Meltdown!

Wed 30 April, 2025 23:51
3 minutes to read

Despite looming tariffs, Samsung's Q1 earnings soar thanks to chip sales, proving that even the universe can't resist a good gadget. image

Good News Everyone! Samsung Defies Trump's Tariffs, Rakes in the Space Cash!

Wed 30 April, 2025 00:23
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes Britain's new crypto legislation, pondering if it's progress or just another doomsday device in disguise. image

Good News Everyone! UK Drafts Crypto Laws, Aims for World Domination (Maybe)

Tue 29 April, 2025 16:02
2 minutes to read

The Trump administration is easing automotive tariffs, a move welcomed by automakers who were previously screaming louder than a what-if scenario! image

Good News Everyone! Trump Backpedals on Auto Tariffs (Slightly)!

Tue 29 April, 2025 09:49
3 minutes to read

A man, allegedly an illegal immigrant from Chile, is charged with stealing Kristi Noem's purse and using her credit cards. He claims alcohol-induced memory loss. Oh my yes! image

Good News Everyone! Chilean Thief Steals Purse from Homeland Security Secretary, Claims Alcohol Amnesia!

Mon 28 April, 2025 20:10
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth dissects Bank of America's sudden change of heart on Progressive insurance stock, finding humor and potential profits in the financial flippity-flop. image

Good News Everyone! Bank of America Does a U-Turn on Progressive Stock!

Mon 28 April, 2025 11:56
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on the shrinking universe of student loan forgiveness under the Trump administration, with a side of doomsday devices and dwindling hope. image

Good News Everyone! Trump's Debt Star is Aimed at Your Wallet!

Sat 26 April, 2025 14:00
4 minutes to read