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Disney's Q2 earnings soar, driven by streaming gains and theme park magic, while Ripley ponders if it's all just corporate smoke and mirrors. image

Disney's Fiscal Firefight: Mouse House Roars Back (No Xenomorphs Involved...Yet)

Wed 07 May, 2025 15:08
3 minutes to read

From China trade talks to Big Pharma woes and volatile energy markets, Ripley dissects the economic landscape with a Xenomorph-sized dose of skepticism. image

Another Day, Another Dollar... Down the Drain: Ripley's Take on Today's Market Mayhem

Tue 06 May, 2025 23:42
5 minutes to read

Ellen Ripley analyzes the volatile stock market, where some companies are thriving while others are facing Xenomorph-level disasters. image

These Companies Are Screaming, And Not In A Good Way: A Ripley Report

Tue 06 May, 2025 16:20
2 minutes to read

Echoes of Nostromo as SpaceX employees seize control of a new Texas town, raising questions about corporate power and environmental risks. image

Another Day, Another Colony Gone Rogue: Musk Creates His Own Starbase Nightmare!

Mon 05 May, 2025 22:52
3 minutes to read

Microsoft founder Bill Gates urges wealthy nations to achieve net-zero emissions, highlighting the need for innovation and leadership in combating climate change. Sounds like another Weyland-Yutani scheme if you ask me. image

Bill Gates Says Rich Countries Must Go Net Zero: Another Bug Hunt?

Mon 05 May, 2025 15:56
3 minutes to read

Trade wars and tariffs are threatening to turn the festive season into a desolate wasteland. Retailers and suppliers are playing a high-stakes game of chicken with the Grinch...or maybe something worse. image

Christmas Creep vs. Tariff Terror: Looks Like Santa's Sleigh is Headed for a Xenomorph-Sized Asteroid!

Mon 05 May, 2025 01:12
3 minutes to read

The White House shared an AI-generated image of Trump as the Pope, sparking controversy and raising questions about seriousness in politics. Sounds like the usual to me. image

Another Day, Another Nightmare: Trump's AI Pope Fantasy—Can't We Just Nuke the Site From Orbit?

Sat 03 May, 2025 14:12
3 minutes to read

AI-generated image of Trump as the Pope surfaces, reminding everyone that politics is scarier than any Xenomorph. image

Another Day, Another Nightmare: Trump as Pope? I've Seen Worse, Trust Me

Sat 03 May, 2025 14:12
3 minutes to read

Google's antitrust woes continue as remedies trial looms, while the AI race heats up. Looks like somebody's gonna have a bad day! image

Ad-pocalypse Now: Google's Monopoly Faces Judgment Day (Again!)

Fri 02 May, 2025 16:12
3 minutes to read

Shell reports lower Q1 profits due to weaker crude prices, but still manages a hefty profit and announces another massive share buyback, proving once again that some corporations are like cockroaches – impossible to kill. image

Shell Shocked! Oil Giant's Profits Take a Dive (But Don't Worry, They're Still Swimming in Cash)

Fri 02 May, 2025 06:22
3 minutes to read