Mortgage Rates from Outer Space! Is Your Dream Home Doomed?

Houston We Have a Problem!

Alright people Agent J here reporting live from Earth – yeah still dealing with this place. Word on the street is these 'mortgage rates' are acting crazier than a Pug on a sugar rush. Seems like everyone's suddenly slamming on the brakes when it comes to buying a house. Last week mortgage applications took a nosedive falling faster than a Neuralyzer victim's memory.

Six Point Freaking Nine!

The average interest rate for a 30 year fixed mortgage? Hit a whopping 6.90%! That's like almost as high as my tolerance for Kay's alien conspiracy theories. Now I know what you're thinking: 'J that's gotta sting!' And you're right it does. Especially when you consider points are rising too. It's like the universe is saying 'You want a house? Pay up punk!'

Refinance? More Like 'Re cry nance'!

Refinancing? Forget about it! Those applications dropped 20% faster than Frank the Pug chasing a mailman. Up 43% from a year ago? What is this some kind of temporal anomaly? Bottom line: If you were thinking about lowering your payments you might as well try explaining quantum physics to a goldfish. Good luck with that!

House Hunting? More Like 'House Haunting'!

Even buying a new home is tougher than wrestling an interdimensional cockroach. Applications are down 7% in a week and up only 6% year over year which means people are more hesitant than Kay at an alien buffet. See not only are interest rates higher than a giraffe's expectations but house prices are still climbing and this stock market rollercoaster is scaring everyone out of selling their stocks to make a down payment. It's a real cosmic cluster.

Economic Uncertainty? That's My Middle Name!

According to some 'expert' named Joel Kan 'economic uncertainty and rate volatility impacted prospective homebuyers.' Tell me something I don't know buddy! Uncertainty is my breakfast volatility is my lunch and existential dread is my dinner. Still I take his word. It is his job to analyze things like that just like it is mine to protect you from the scum of the universe.

Trump Rattles the Market?!

And as if all that wasn't crazy enough some dude named Trump decided to stir the pot with comments about the Fed. Apparently that sent rates lurching higher than a rookie's pulse during their first alien encounter! Now things have calmed down a bit but let's be real: In this galaxy anything can happen. Moral of the story? Buckle up buttercups. This ride ain't over yet!